Hello everyone!
I've almost made forty when out of the blue topics of what autism is jumped out on me, and things suddenly clicked.
Most of what I have read about feeling out of place, on a different wavelength and having missed a manual on socialising (a particularly apt comparison!) hit so close to home.
I realised that constructing and tailoring a persona for each acquaintance is not something people normally do. And they don't feel a violent clash when there are two different acquaintances in the room.
I mastered the small talk by researching it excessively, but I long for meaningful connections and conversations that mean something more than discussing the weather and what you did on the weekend. Just read another infuriatingly vague guide on the very NAS website - I'm feeling completely lost as to how to actually make friends that have same interests.
It's another half-hearted cry for help I guess. I'm really trying to keep my hopes up.