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Hello! Non-officially-diagnosed adult male here

NeatCart

Hello everyone!

I've almost made forty when out of the blue topics of what autism is jumped out on me, and things suddenly clicked.

Most of what I have read about feeling out of place, on a different wavelength and having missed a manual on socialising (a particularly apt comparison!) hit so close to home.

I realised that constructing and tailoring a persona for each acquaintance is not something people normally do. And they don't feel a violent clash when there are two different acquaintances in the room. 

I mastered the small talk by researching it excessively, but I long for meaningful connections and conversations that mean something more than discussing the weather and what you did on the weekend. Just read another infuriatingly vague guide on the very NAS website - I'm feeling completely lost as to how to actually make friends that have same interests.

It's another half-hearted cry for help I guess. I'm really trying to keep my hopes up.

Parents

  • You are comparatively lucky.

    My entire career was a motorway pile up followed by a train smash then an airplane crash with the odd shipwreck in between. Now 67 I am being told I am on the spectrum. You still have time to learn how to navigate the other lot. I am trying to male sense of my life to avoid a lonely existence after getting black balled at a local sports club. 

  • in reply to Professor Precise-a-bug

    My heart goes out to you for having such a difficult time with your career. I can't say my career was great myself - I was jumping from one speciality to another and now that I'm pushing forty I see how crippled I am for not having a professional network of connections to lean on to find the next role, but at least it's stable and I think I am at least somewhat playing to my strength.

    I can't even imagine how hard can it be to learn about your diagnosis so late and having to re-invent yourself. I hope that part of your versatility will help you.

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  • in reply to Professor Precise-a-bug

    My heart goes out to you for having such a difficult time with your career. I can't say my career was great myself - I was jumping from one speciality to another and now that I'm pushing forty I see how crippled I am for not having a professional network of connections to lean on to find the next role, but at least it's stable and I think I am at least somewhat playing to my strength.

    I can't even imagine how hard can it be to learn about your diagnosis so late and having to re-invent yourself. I hope that part of your versatility will help you.

Children
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