Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
During another difficult period in my very colourful life I sought out the local mental health team as I was diagnosed with depression at 14 and bipolar disorder at 19. In and out of mental health hospitals most of my life, I didn’t really think it fit me but I lived with it. I thought maybe I just needed a medication adjustment. They removed my bipolar and mental health diagnoses and referred me for an autism assessment. I had this and was diagnosed as autistic aged 41. Meanwhile, I am slowly coming off the medication I don’t need and have been on for 26 years. Heavy stuff over the years. It was a shock. I hadn’t considered autism. My 35 year old little brother was the autistic one, diagnosed at 5. I was the crazy, kooky but sensible one.
I worked during covid and I got PTSD from the things I saw and did, I had EMDR and it was good. I still live with some symptoms. I think my PTSD led to my unmasking and breakdown at work where for the first time I was described as unmanageable and fickle.
I am still off work and waiting for some support as I’m desperate to get back in a redeployed role with some adjustments. I am a registered nurse with experience of prison, police custody and after covid I was a nurse lecturer in anatomy and physiology and clinical skills. It was suggested that academic research and non patient facing roles would be better. I’ve found the tiktok community quite helpful.
I have special interests in the human body, academia, diagnostics, geisha culture, science, astronomy and space. I am a music buff and I love history, etymology and anthropology. I am also interested in true crime, criminal justice, cults and high demand religion. I am obsessed about comedy and a lot of my phrases are from these programs. I think people would say I’m funny.
I notice everything and I struggle with sensory processing and coping with everyday life. I find friends a drain and prefer to keep people at a distance, I always have. I have a strong sense of justice and can be very blunt. I am a kind and good person though. I am very accepting and I hate injustice and unkind people. I like to think critically. I don’t love and I’m not interested in relationships, I have no children. I am bisexual and alternative.
Anyway, that’s me! Hi! I’m quite isolated as I’m unmasking an I get embarrassed about it. I have a sunflower lanyard and an access card but feel weird about using it.
Well done if you read this far! I LOVE Bluey and fidget toys!Blip!
Wow, you've been on quite the journey! Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!
In case you haven't yet seen them, the NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:
NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis
NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:
I feel the same about the lanyard, but have already been fortunate enough to find myself on the receiving end of some kindness that I don't think I'd otherwise have experienced. So I'll continue working on getting more comfortable with it :)
Hi Bunny,
Thank you so much! I’ve used NAS resources a lot. I really appreciate it. it’s good to know that I’m no alone about the lanyard.
Take Care, Blip xx