Mother of ASD Teenager in need of advice

Hi,

My son was diagnosed with ASD at the age of 3 and a half he is now 17. He has faced many battes over the years, speech and language, social communication, bullying, friendships ect. I have always had to fight hard for support in school as he has struggled, but the request for his EHCP was rejected when he was in year 8 by the SENCo.

Fast forward to last year March, we were evicted from our home of 10 years and became homeless. The coucil asked for the needs of the family and i stressed his needs and provided evidence from school, drs ect and I feel this was all ignored. I tried to seek another property privately in the same area because I knew what was best for him and because I am a single parent estate agents rejected me, as It was only one income. We spent 8 months sleeping on the floor and out of boxes, he revised for his exams in these conditions and struggled.

The coucil ended up moving in October 2023, I recieved the call and was told if i rejected the offer they would release duty of our care. They moved us over an hour away by car and it happened very quickly, from teh day of the call we had 2 days to move. My son took the move ok to begin with, but the many changes that followed i feel have had a signficant impact on him.

We had issues with:

-Mould

-Rodents

-No heating or hot water for 6 weeks

-lack of security to the property- broken fence that lead to the main road, access for anyone

We were waking up 5am to leave by 6am to get to work and school on time, his 8 year old sister started to fall asleep in school, he just became more and more withdrawn. If he had to take public transport it would take nearly 2 hours each way sometimes longer as he would be travelling in peak times.

I constantly wrote to the council with my concerns and that we were isolated and the lack of support I had. I knew no one in the area and again he was cut off from friends and his activities which eventually came to an end. 

In May this year I recieved a call when I arrived to work around 9am that morning, My son had but up a post, he had gone and no one knew where he was. It was the worst time of my life and I still do not feel I am over it. Transport police had located him ridding the trains around london, He had tried to take his life. Thankfully he was loctaed and returned home but that was just the start of an battle.

He is not the same, intensive CAMHS intervention, 24hour watch and now medicated, life is stressful. We can not plan anything, he is isolating himself more and more. My outgoing smiling boy is now highly anxious, suicidal and self harms. We were moved 6 weeks ago closer to family and friends but it took this major event for this to happen.

I am so angry and I feel lost in this. we have had to move tiwce in 8months, the changes have traumatised my family and more so my son. I am finacially strainned as the moves cost so much, and my outgoings increased moving far away.

But most importantly I feel this could have been prevented if his beeds werre taken into consideraton in the first place. 

Who can I go to to fight this, so other children with needs do not face this? How can I seek compensation for the trauma, the loss, the pain this has caused?

My sons journey now isnt just understanding his Autism but now his metal health

My journey is to prevent my son from taking his life and keeping him safe at all times.

  • Dear NAS95600,  

    Thank you for posting and tell the community what you are going through. We are sorry to hear that you and your son are currently experiencing. 

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you or anyone else is at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help 

    You may find it useful to look at our NAS pages on mental health:  

    Help for anyone struggling to cope 

    • Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  
    • Mind Infoline: 0300 1233393for information and signposting (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday) 
    • SANEline: 0300 304 7000for anyone experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else (4.30pm to 10.30pm, every day)  
    • Shout 85258:a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope.  

    You may want to contact our parent to parent emotional support helpline. The Parent to Parent Emotional Support Service provides emotional support to parents and carers regarding their autistic children/grown-up children. The service is provided by trained volunteers with personal experience as the parent of an autistic child or adult. Our focus is on emotional support and understanding what it is like for you as a parent. We offer empathy, understanding, and a safe space to talk through your feelings and experiences. To request a call, complete a web enquiry form here: www.autism.org.uk/.../parent-to-parent-helpline 

    We hope this is helpful to you.  

    Kind regards  

    Rosie Mod  

  • I’d go to your local MP and the local papers as the council are not listening and probably CAB.