Skip to main content
Close Button
Donate
  • Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 89 subscribers
  • Views 120 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

11 year old son, behaviour concerns

NAS94318
12 days ago

Hi, l am new to this page. I am hoping someone maybe able to offer some advice.

My son is 11 years old and is autistic, or as he likes to say, his super power. 

He is such an intelligent little boy but we are struggling with his behaviour at times. He swears  but even when l hear him he says he didn't do it. Sometimes spitting but again he will say he didn't do it. He will trybto hurt his brother but say it wasn't him. He hides things but says it was not him even when we know it was. When we try to talk to him about what he has done he gets really agitated and upset that we are saying he did these things. I have tried to work out if they occur when he is under any stressed but nothing is obvious. 

I have spoken with the school and they have tried talking with him but it has not made a difference. At this time there has not been any issues in school. 

Does anyone have any experience on how to manage this? 

Parents
  • 11 days ago

    Understanding the Behavior

    1. Communication Difficulties: Children with autism often have challenges with communication and understanding social cues. His denial of the behavior may be a coping mechanism to avoid confrontation or because he genuinely doesn't perceive his actions the way others do.

    2. Sensory Sensitivities: Autistic children can have heightened sensory sensitivities, which may lead to behaviors like spitting or swearing as a response to sensory overload or discomfort.

    3. Routine and Predictability: Many children with autism thrive on routine and predictability. Sudden changes or unanticipated events can be stressful, leading to challenging behaviors.

    4. Difficulty with Self-Regulation: Your son may struggle with self-regulation, which includes managing emotions and impulses. This can result in behaviors like aggression or spitting.

    Strategies to Manage Behavior

    1. Behavioral Interventions:

      • Positive Reinforcement: Reinforce positive behavior with praise, rewards, or privileges. Make sure the rewards are immediate and meaningful to him.
      • Social Stories: Create social stories that describe appropriate behaviors and outcomes. These can help him understand social expectations and the consequences of his actions.

    2. Clear and Consistent Communication:

      • Use simple and direct language when addressing behavior. Avoid lengthy explanations which might be overwhelming.
      • Visual aids, like charts or cards, can help communicate rules and expectations clearly.

    3. Calming Techniques:

      • Teach and practice calming techniques such as deep breathing, counting, or using a stress ball. These can help him manage agitation and frustration.

    4. Functional Behavior Analysis (FBA):

      • Work with a behavior analyst to conduct an FBA, which can help identify the triggers and functions of his behaviors. Understanding why the behavior occurs can lead to more effective interventions.

    5. Structured Environment:

      • Maintain a structured and predictable environment at home. Use schedules and timers to provide a sense of order and reduce anxiety.

    6. Social Skills Training:

      • Social skills training can help him learn appropriate ways to interact with others and manage conflicts.

    7. Professional Support:

      • Consider consulting with a child psychologist or a behavioral therapist who specializes in autism. They can provide tailored strategies and support for managing behavior.

    Involving the School

    1. Collaborative Approach:

      • Continue to work closely with the school. Share successful strategies used at home and ask if similar approaches can be implemented in the classroom.
      • Develop an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) if one is not already in place.

    2. Regular Communication:

      • Maintain regular communication with teachers and school staff to monitor his behavior and ensure consistency between home and school environments.

    Conclusion

    It's important to approach your son's behavior with understanding and patience. Challenging behaviors in children with autism often stem from difficulties in communication, sensory sensitivities, and emotional regulation. By using structured, consistent, and positive approaches, you can help him develop better ways to express himself and manage his behavior. If needed, seeking support from professionals with experience in autism can provide additional guidance and effective strategies.

    I remember when my son was 11 years old, and we faced many of the same challenges. He is autistic, which he proudly calls his superpower. Despite his incredible intelligence, we struggled with his behavior. He would swear, spit, and sometimes try to hurt his brother, only to deny it when confronted. Even though we knew he did these things, he would get agitated and upset when we tried to talk to him about it. It was frustrating because nothing seemed to make a difference, not even discussions with his school.

    Then, I decided to try a new approach. I started using positive reinforcement, rewarding him immediately for good behavior with things he valued. I also introduced social stories to help him understand what was expected of him and the consequences of his actions.

    Communication became simpler and more direct. I used visual aids to clearly communicate rules and expectations. We practiced calming techniques together, like deep breathing and using a stress ball, which helped him manage his emotions.

    I worked with a behavior analyst to conduct a Functional Behavior Analysis (FBA), identifying the triggers for his behavior. We maintained a structured and predictable environment at home, using schedules and timers to provide order.

    We also focused on social skills training to help him interact appropriately with others and resolve conflicts. Regular communication with his school ensured that the strategies we used at home were also implemented in the classroom.

    Over time, these efforts paid off. My son became brilliant in class, and his behavior improved significantly. After school, he began learning technical skills and developed a passion for video editing. Now, he's an expert in video editing using Alight Motion, a talent that brings him joy and a sense of accomplishment.

    Our journey wasn't easy, but with patience and the right strategies, my son has flourished. His superpower truly shines now, both in school and in his creative pursuits.

Reply
  • 11 days ago

    Understanding the Behavior

    1. Communication Difficulties: Children with autism often have challenges with communication and understanding social cues. His denial of the behavior may be a coping mechanism to avoid confrontation or because he genuinely doesn't perceive his actions the way others do.

    2. Sensory Sensitivities: Autistic children can have heightened sensory sensitivities, which may lead to behaviors like spitting or swearing as a response to sensory overload or discomfort.

    3. Routine and Predictability: Many children with autism thrive on routine and predictability. Sudden changes or unanticipated events can be stressful, leading to challenging behaviors.

    4. Difficulty with Self-Regulation: Your son may struggle with self-regulation, which includes managing emotions and impulses. This can result in behaviors like aggression or spitting.

    Strategies to Manage Behavior

    1. Behavioral Interventions:

      • Positive Reinforcement: Reinforce positive behavior with praise, rewards, or privileges. Make sure the rewards are immediate and meaningful to him.
      • Social Stories: Create social stories that describe appropriate behaviors and outcomes. These can help him understand social expectations and the consequences of his actions.

    2. Clear and Consistent Communication:

      • Use simple and direct language when addressing behavior. Avoid lengthy explanations which might be overwhelming.
      • Visual aids, like charts or cards, can help communicate rules and expectations clearly.

    3. Calming Techniques:

      • Teach and practice calming techniques such as deep breathing, counting, or using a stress ball. These can help him manage agitation and frustration.

    4. Functional Behavior Analysis (FBA):

      • Work with a behavior analyst to conduct an FBA, which can help identify the triggers and functions of his behaviors. Understanding why the behavior occurs can lead to more effective interventions.

    5. Structured Environment:

      • Maintain a structured and predictable environment at home. Use schedules and timers to provide a sense of order and reduce anxiety.

    6. Social Skills Training:

      • Social skills training can help him learn appropriate ways to interact with others and manage conflicts.

    7. Professional Support:

      • Consider consulting with a child psychologist or a behavioral therapist who specializes in autism. They can provide tailored strategies and support for managing behavior.

    Involving the School

    1. Collaborative Approach:

      • Continue to work closely with the school. Share successful strategies used at home and ask if similar approaches can be implemented in the classroom.
      • Develop an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) if one is not already in place.

    2. Regular Communication:

      • Maintain regular communication with teachers and school staff to monitor his behavior and ensure consistency between home and school environments.

    Conclusion

    It's important to approach your son's behavior with understanding and patience. Challenging behaviors in children with autism often stem from difficulties in communication, sensory sensitivities, and emotional regulation. By using structured, consistent, and positive approaches, you can help him develop better ways to express himself and manage his behavior. If needed, seeking support from professionals with experience in autism can provide additional guidance and effective strategies.

    I remember when my son was 11 years old, and we faced many of the same challenges. He is autistic, which he proudly calls his superpower. Despite his incredible intelligence, we struggled with his behavior. He would swear, spit, and sometimes try to hurt his brother, only to deny it when confronted. Even though we knew he did these things, he would get agitated and upset when we tried to talk to him about it. It was frustrating because nothing seemed to make a difference, not even discussions with his school.

    Then, I decided to try a new approach. I started using positive reinforcement, rewarding him immediately for good behavior with things he valued. I also introduced social stories to help him understand what was expected of him and the consequences of his actions.

    Communication became simpler and more direct. I used visual aids to clearly communicate rules and expectations. We practiced calming techniques together, like deep breathing and using a stress ball, which helped him manage his emotions.

    I worked with a behavior analyst to conduct a Functional Behavior Analysis (FBA), identifying the triggers for his behavior. We maintained a structured and predictable environment at home, using schedules and timers to provide order.

    We also focused on social skills training to help him interact appropriately with others and resolve conflicts. Regular communication with his school ensured that the strategies we used at home were also implemented in the classroom.

    Over time, these efforts paid off. My son became brilliant in class, and his behavior improved significantly. After school, he began learning technical skills and developed a passion for video editing. Now, he's an expert in video editing using Alight Motion, a talent that brings him joy and a sense of accomplishment.

    Our journey wasn't easy, but with patience and the right strategies, my son has flourished. His superpower truly shines now, both in school and in his creative pursuits.

Children
No Data