Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, l am new to this page. I am hoping someone maybe able to offer some advice.
My son is 11 years old and is autistic, or as he likes to say, his super power.
He is such an intelligent little boy but we are struggling with his behaviour at times. He swears but even when l hear him he says he didn't do it. Sometimes spitting but again he will say he didn't do it. He will trybto hurt his brother but say it wasn't him. He hides things but says it was not him even when we know it was. When we try to talk to him about what he has done he gets really agitated and upset that we are saying he did these things. I have tried to work out if they occur when he is under any stressed but nothing is obvious.
I have spoken with the school and they have tried talking with him but it has not made a difference. At this time there has not been any issues in school.
Does anyone have any experience on how to manage this?
NAS94318 said:He swears but even when l hear him he says he didn't do it
This is a tricky one. I would normally say you need to enforce disciplin with a consequences based mechanism for breaking certain rules - eg losing TV privelages, not getting his favourite sweets, less pocket money etc.
Teaching the cause and effect will be down to you rather than the school as they probably lack resource to do it and it is a lesson best learned at home.
It should start with an explanation of the cause / effect process. e.g. "I hear you swearing and you are grounded for 2 days"
You need to be the absolute power with this - no excuses, denials or "but he did it first" responses. You must be sure he commited the crime the be the harbringer of justice to punish him.
Where this may be problematic is if he is prone to meltdowns when challenged - ideally he needs to be lucid enough to reflect that he was wrong, was stupid enough to get caught and it is his fault he has lost something over it.
You will also be the monster for a while, but so long as you are fair in the dishing out of punishment for all your kids then he has no cause for complaint - the law is the law and you are its judge, jury and executioner.
I don't see any talking type exercises working as he is lying so consistently about it and will not listen to reason.
Good luck with whatever you choose to try.