Recent Adult Diagnosis of Autism and need advice

Hi Al, I've just joined as I received my diagnosis 3 months ago aged 51 and lifelong masking. I haven't read the others' posts, so apologies if it's duplicated.

Have you tried 'Access to Work'? They were really helpful with my mobility issues in recommending adjustments at work. I haven't approached them this time, as my organisation has its own Occupational Health department who will get involved if I need it, but my manager is very good and willing to learn.

There was a lot of information recorded, and available to catch up, from the neurodiversity awareness week earlier this year: https://www.neurodiversityweek.com/2024-event-recordings I hope it's OK to post this link. They covered lots of sessions, some employment-related, and my manager found the 'manager' video helpful.

It will take some time for people to get used to giving clear precise instructions. Because in general many people don't communicate accurately! They also interpret what you say/write so the more specific you can be about the impact to you, the less they will be interpreting your words in their view of the world. A lot of communication I get at work I label 'waffle'. The thing I find helpful is explaining to my manager what goes on in my head when I read all these confusing and conflicting instructions, to show her what the impact of unclear communication is. This made her in turn think of how she processes text, and is more aware of where she is being unclear. We always do a 'clarification review' at the end of a meeting so I have my actions in bullet points. She now realises how exhausting this is for me.

Don't be scared to ask questions - `'`you say xxx, can I just check exactly what you mean by that? I can interpret it as aaa or zzz, and wondered what your understanding is?" It is hard, as I have to first get over my frustration at myself for not understanding in the first place, before I can work out what to do about it. I write a lot of draft emails to work things out, sort of like journalling, and delete them. Then at some point I am clear on what I want to say/ask, and when I'm calm can put the reasonable request for clarification out there. Try and approach them with an idea, "I'm finding this tricky, can we try ....". Relate it to areas of your life where instructions are good... "If only your request was like the instructions for an Ikea bookcase/Lego/recipe..." said with humour and a smile, which other people might understand and relate to. I have read a lot around autism in these 3 months and made notes on things I find on blogs, books etc that other people found helpful and use that as a starting point.

Know yourself and know your limits - when it is time to take a break, walk away, distract, come back and focus.

Ask for bullet point instructions rather than paragraphs of text.

Can they show you the task, or take photos to show you? Or help you find some more clear instructions online for the same thing by searching? Do they have an example of what they want you to achieve (e.g. last year's report) so you can understand the outline rather than having a 'blank sheet of paper'.

But your work really need to be comfortable with you asking questions. I've experienced difficulties sometimes asking questions, as the person doesn't want to admit they don't know the answer...

Hope some of this helps.

Hi Al, I've just joined as I received my diagnosis 3 months ago aged 51 and lifelong masking. I haven't read the others' posts, so apologies if it's duplicated.

Have you tried 'Access to Work'? They were really helpful with my mobility issues in recommending adjustments at work. I haven't approached them this time, as my organisation has its own Occupational Health department who will get involved if I need it, but my manager is very good and willing to learn.

There was a lot of information recorded, and available to catch up, from the neurodiversity awareness week earlier this year: https://www.neurodiversityweek.com/2024-event-recordings I hope it's OK to post this link. They covered lots of sessions, some employment-related, and my manager found the 'manager' video helpful.

It will take some time for people to get used to giving clear precise instructions. Because in general many people don't communicate accurately! They also interpret what you say/write so the more specific you can be about the impact to you, the less they will be interpreting your words in their view of the world. A lot of communication I get at work I label 'waffle'. The thing I find helpful is explaining to my manager what goes on in my head when I read all these confusing and conflicting instructions, to show her what the impact of unclear communication is. This made her in turn think of how she processes text, and is more aware of where she is being unclear. We always do a 'clarification review' at the end of a meeting so I have my actions in bullet points. She now realises how exhausting this is for me.

Don't be scared to ask questions - `'`you say xxx, can I just check exactly what you mean by that? I can interpret it as aaa or zzz, and wondered what your understanding is?" It is hard, as I have to first get over my frustration at myself for not understanding in the first place, before I can work out what to do about it. I write a lot of draft emails to work things out, sort of like journalling, and delete them. Then at some point I am clear on what I want to say/ask, and when I'm calm can put the reasonable request for clarification out there. Try and approach them with an idea, "I'm finding this tricky, can we try ....". Relate it to areas of your life where instructions are good... "If only your request was like the instructions for an Ikea bookcase/Lego/recipe..." said with humour and a smile, which other people might understand and relate to. I have read a lot around autism in these 3 months and made notes on things I find on blogs, books etc that other people found helpful and use that as a starting point.

Know yourself and know your limits - when it is time to take a break, walk away, distract, come back and focus.

Ask for bullet point instructions rather than paragraphs of text.

Can they show you the task, or take photos to show you? Or help you find some more clear instructions online for the same thing by searching? Do they have an example of what they want you to achieve (e.g. last year's report) so you can understand the outline rather than having a 'blank sheet of paper'.

But your work really need to be comfortable with you asking questions. I've experienced difficulties sometimes asking questions, as the person doesn't want to admit they don't know the answer...

Hope some of this helps.

Hi Fiona, 

Thank you so much for your reply and suggestions, that's very useful and helpful and I will give your suggestions a go! I definitely think the clarification review and bullet points over paragraphs would be extremely helpful. I also really appreciate your comment "Know yourself and know your limits - when it is time to take a break, walk away, distract, come back and focus." - I definitely forget this a lot and I will make a note of those lovely words as I think that would help me realise that I can take some time and its ok. 

I have tried access to work but its just the waiting time of 18 weeks, which is a long time but I am hoping that will be good once they get back to me. It was just as I am worried I will need to quit the job before they can get back in touch due to stress at work, but I do really hope I can hold out for them to help. 

The main difficulty with my work is that nobody really has the time to support me properly, which is really hard. I get neglected a lot and don't hear back and its a real challenge, but I will definitely try your suggestions and will check out the link you sent as well on Neurodiversity awareness week. I agree, I also find it difficult to ask all the questions I need to as I am scared, so I need to be honest with them that I struggle to ask or help. 

Thanks again for your reply and taking the time, it means a lot and I really appreciate it

Al