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To diagnose or not?

Platespinner parent
6 months ago

Hello! 
I’m new round here! I am the (single) parent of an lgbtq+ teen who may have autism.
Prior to leaving school (early) they had some, reluctant, involvement with CAMHS & several people suggested they may be autistic. I can see this is also possible too. 
We requested a diagnosis but were turned down & my child now doesn’t want to be diagnosed due to labelling. This is fine, if its actually whats most helpful for them. I’d be really grateful to hear other peoples experiences- both good & bad- of recieving diagnoses or not please, to help us make a more informed decision. 
Also can anyone recommend any (alternative?) sources of information & support please? Both them if they choose to engage & me in how best to understand and support them. 


Thankyou :-)

Parents
  • 6 months ago

    Hi there! I’m 18 - so I was a teenager last year and I initially felt the way your child does about autism diagnosis. When my counsellor and parents mentioned it to me, it felt like a complete insult, but I recognise that at that time I also had mental health issues so the idea of standing out more than I did already was the worst thing in the world. But when I thought more seriously about it with my mum, I realised that through getting one, I’d be able to get more support for stuff. I did and now I’m at university getting all the extra time etc for exams that I needed before and never got in school. 

    now I’m not saying that being diagnosed gets rid of all the things your child will feel, I personally struggled with a lot of shame since being diagnosed. I feel like there was a lot more pressure to go back into my shell and mask a lot more because it felt like there was constantly a target on my back. However, I have been working on that and through therapy on other things, that burden feels like it’s started to decrease.

    I’d definitely say a diagnosis is worth it but unfortunately there will be a lot of crazy emotions that come with it. I (and many other autistics) can say it’s like going through the 7 stages of grief after being diagnosed.

Reply
  • 6 months ago

    Hi there! I’m 18 - so I was a teenager last year and I initially felt the way your child does about autism diagnosis. When my counsellor and parents mentioned it to me, it felt like a complete insult, but I recognise that at that time I also had mental health issues so the idea of standing out more than I did already was the worst thing in the world. But when I thought more seriously about it with my mum, I realised that through getting one, I’d be able to get more support for stuff. I did and now I’m at university getting all the extra time etc for exams that I needed before and never got in school. 

    now I’m not saying that being diagnosed gets rid of all the things your child will feel, I personally struggled with a lot of shame since being diagnosed. I feel like there was a lot more pressure to go back into my shell and mask a lot more because it felt like there was constantly a target on my back. However, I have been working on that and through therapy on other things, that burden feels like it’s started to decrease.

    I’d definitely say a diagnosis is worth it but unfortunately there will be a lot of crazy emotions that come with it. I (and many other autistics) can say it’s like going through the 7 stages of grief after being diagnosed.

Children
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