I need support

Hello,

I was diagnosed with ASD in September 2020, I was 43 at the time. The diagnosis was unexpected and has really shaken my sense of self. There was no support offered post diagnosis.

I have had caring responsibilities for my Mother since around 2015. She has many health issues and her health is getting progressively worse. She now has memory issues along with limited mobility and has been referred for a dementia assessment. My Mother won't acknowledge my ASD diagnosis, she believes there is nothing wrong with me. I am not able to discuss my feelings with her as she just shuts the conversation down.

I moved back in with her in 2006 after the breakdown of a relationship. At that time she was incredibly independent and lived a full life. However, things changed during the pandemic. She became increasingly isolated from the outside world. She no longer takes care of herself, she has no pride in her appearance or motivation to do anything for herself. This puts a great deal of pressure on me. I want her to be happy and safe. 

I am trying my best to look after my Mother but I feel like I'm not doing enough. My extended family don't seem interested in what's happening even though I have told them. In January things came to a head and I asked for help from social services. They visited us at home but my Mam refused any support, telling them that she was fine with me looking after her. At no point has she spoken to me about the support she needs. I don't know what she expects of me. I have had to reduce my hours at work to allow me the flexibility to support her. I am now in a bad financial situation, if my Mother is diagnosed with dementia she may have to go into residential care at some stage. The house is in her name and I have read that the local council can force a sale on the house to pay for care.

I am terrified that I don't know how much longer my Mother will be at home. Her personality has changed, she is completely self centred. She doesn't see how distressed I am or how much I'm struggling. I'm so scared that I'm going to end up homeless. I don't know what to do. 

Sorry. I'm in a bad headspace.