Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey I am a 21 year old female and I am just now finding out that I may be autistic. I have struggled with much mental health issues my whole life, anxiety, OCD, depression. I was bullied badly as a child all through school. I became almost mute in a school setting by age eight and struggled to fit in. I felt like all I wanted was friends. I would come home and get very overwhelmed after school having angry outbursts. I have diagnosed sensory processing disorder and Dyspraxia.
When I was 16 a therapist asked me if I had considered an autism diagnosis, as I have the symptoms, however I dismissed this, because of the stereotypes around autism and as I did not want to feel different. I managed to talk again going to college and found people I fitted in with, and was able to talk quite well.
Now in uni being with people 24/7 I am struggling again and feel I could possibly be very burned out from trying to fit in socially all the time this year. It's very hard to act ok and not anxious when i'm living with people 24/7. People find me funny and I know people view me as a but quirky or in the clouds (not my own words how people have described me) as I got older I got into fashion and owned this, and started dressing weirder, and played this off as my quirky personality haha. (I hate the word quirky but don't know how else to describe.)
This helped me from college up to be able to fit in more and talk better. But in reality when people laugh at things I say I don't have any idea why they find me funny. Maybe I am not autistic, my bfs brother is autistic and he does not think I am, but his brother has very stereotypical symptoms. My mum thinks I am. I watched the BBC documentary by Christine MC Guinness on woman with autism and I felt understood for the first time. I'm not sure if I am or not and I'm not sure what I should do about it so I thought I'd share my experience and hear what others think.
I would like to know as I've struggled seriously with mental health my whole life to the point sometimes I cannot leave the house. I've been diagnosed with multiple different things I cannot believe I have all of these things. I have heard this happens to girls with autism a lot. I feel knowing this may give me some answers and next steps, but the waiting list is so long and i'm already 21. Any advice?
I should add, it certainly appears that autistic females are often misdiagnosed with all sorts of things ... OCD, bi-polar, BPD ...
It is also common for autistic people to have cptsd, which can complicate things, so I suggest researching that also.
Hi. Firstly, I hope you find a home in this community.
If you are considering whether you are autistic, perhaps you can do what I did;
There are many videos on youtube by people who have gone though this. I suggest looking at videos that describe the diagnostic criteria for autism. They will go through the strict definition but also helpfully give examples from their lives. There are a number of creators who have done this ... watch all of them!
Once you have a good feel for the diagnostic criteria, list out those criteria and detail out examples from your life for each, back to early childhood.
There are also a number of tests online you can take to five you some idea.
Please be aware, this is a marathon, not a sprint, so take you time.
Once you have a good feel for whether you have sufficient confidence and the desire for a diagnosis, approach your GP. Your GP will likely have no idea about autism or they will have incorrect views of it .... you will need to take the NICE guidelines for diagnosing Autism (and also maybe the DSM-V criteria) in order to teach the GP what autism is and how it presents.
Do not be discouraged if your GP does not understand!
There may be quite a long waiting time if you are going to be assessed on the NHS, but there is always the 'right to choose' option.
Good luck.