Published on 12, July, 2020
Via CAMHS possible ASD ADHD. School have noted some possible signs and obstacles to learning. He does not display the rudeness, defiance and disrespect he displays at home though which is what I originally went to talk to them about. They believe he is masking. I’ve agreed to the referral but we (myself his Mum and his step Dad, well and his younger brother, and grandparents) are really struggling with the challenging behaviour he displays at home. Well I’m distraught about it, it feels so sad he is so rude and aggressive and, frankly, angry already at 9. Tbh he has always displayed signs of being/feeling angry since maybe he was around 3 but it’s really become a real challenge in the last year or 2. Maybe since boundaries were actually set, if I’m honest I didn’t really have any or try to set any when I was on my own with my boys for about 4 years.
Trying to set rules on gaming, phone use, bedtime, any changes to what he perceives to be what he will be doing after school, it just causes total explosive angry rude outburst to which it seems he can’t get back out of. But then when he eventually does, by which point anyone around him is destroyed, there is no apology, he just picks up again and we are all meant to follow suit I guess. Well I’m not sure what we’re meant to do. That’s why I’m here I suppose, to get to know you all in this community so I can help him, and us all, better. I fear this is only going to get harder if he can be like this at 9. I feel so sad he seems so angry. Unless he is doing what he wants to do.
The first time I even thought perhaps he has ASD is when the school mentioned it when I went to meet them after Christmas following some really difficult times/incidents/outbursts/rudeness.
He has a very loving supportive calm (mostly!) kind home environment and family around him, Dad not involved with either boy since they were 2 and 4 ish sadly. I have probably over compensated for that as I feel sad about that having had the same happen to me, my Mum left my Dad, he decided not to see me and my sister, it had a huge impact on me so I get it.
Anyway I digress. I veer between thinking is this pre pubescent hormones, is he addicted to gaming, is he simply ‘angry’, I don’t think the school are certain, they are teachers and SENCO and are just wanting to refer to CAMHS, they don’t ‘know’. In the meantime they are treating as though he has had a diagnosis so I am thinking I should do the same.
It is very challenging.
I am his Mum I meant, me and his step Dad.