My 14 year old son keeps getting detentions and he doesn't know why

 I understand your frustrations but schools give children too much homework, the school system isn't designed for Autistic people, he's stressed out. I never finished school, I couldn't cope with it. I was very clever but bullying made my life hell. Maybe he has problems he can't talk to you about or is scared to talk to you about. Expect miracles. Miracles happen every day,

Thank you so much.  It's really helpful to be reminded how hard he must be finding it.  I try to understand but I know I don't. He likes going to school to see his friends and I don't think he is being bullied (but I don't know for sure as he could be masking it) but I think I underestimate how difficult it is for him.  I am not sure what you mean about the miracles.  Anyway, thank you again for your reply.

I did write to his tutor to explain that he is stressed out and that piling on criticism and detentions only seems to be making it worse.  If anyone could give me any practical tips for helping him not get as stressed, that would be great.  Everyone is different but if there are any strategies for his age group dealing with classroom environments, homework, school rules etc.  I have read up a lot but am interested to hear any tips.

I responded with the law and guidance. If the school and/or LA refuse to implement the guidance, there is a complaints process all the way to SENDIST and higher courts. In reality you are right of course ... schools are underfunded. The LEA where I am a governor is overspent on their SEND budget by about £2m. My point was a factual one, the school <is> "obliged" (legally required) to meet special needs. They are also required by law to produce a balanced budget. The two are often incompatible, and the accountants win. Just because there is a legal right does not mean that there is a remedy ... the law is hedged around with "where reasonable practicable " and so on.

Does that happen in the real world? I think that the absence of a clinical diagnosis would tend to result in requests being minimally addressed. Many schools are financially constrained, so that even children with diagnoses receive little in the way of useful accommodations and focused help.

With respect, you are mistaken. If you read the SEND Code of Practice you will see that pupils DO NOT need a diagnosis to qualify for help. This is /statutory/ guidance under the Children and Families Act 2014.

" 1.17 A child’s parents, young people, schools and colleges have specific rights to request
a needs assessment for an EHC plan and children and their parents and young
people should feel able to tell their school or college if they believe they have or may
have SEN. " 

"6.14 All schools should have a clear approach to identifying and responding to SEN. The
benefits of early identification are widely recognised – identifying need at the earliest
point and then making effective provision improves long-term outcomes for the child
or young person.

6.15 A pupil has SEN where their learning difficulty or disability calls for special
educational provision, namely provision different from or additional to that normally
available to pupils of the same age. Making higher quality teaching normally
available to the whole class is likely to mean that fewer pupils will require such support. Such improvements in whole-class provision tend to be more cost effective and sustainable.

6.16 Schools should assess each pupil’s current skills and levels of attainment on entry,
building on information from previous settings and key stages where appropriate. At
the same time, schools should consider evidence that a pupil may have a disability
under the Equality Act 2010 and, if so, what reasonable adjustments may need to be
made for them.
6.17 Class and subject teachers, supported by the senior leadership team, should make
regular assessments of progress for all pupils. These should seek to identify pupils
making less than expected progress given their age and individual circumstances...."

Reference : Special educational needs and disability code of practice: 0 to 25 years
Statutory guidance for organisations which work with and support children. Department for Education, January 2015 [/assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7dcb85ed915d2ac884d995/SEND_Code_of_Practice_January_2015.pdf]

Don't be misled by what the school may tell you ... read the statutory guidance. The school /must/ follow the guidance because it is the law. No excuses.

With respect, you are mistaken. If you read the SEND Code of Practice you will see that pupils DO NOT need a diagnosis to qualify for help. This is /statutory/ guidance under the Children and Families Act 2014.

" 1.17 A child’s parents, young people, schools and colleges have specific rights to request
a needs assessment for an EHC plan and children and their parents and young
people should feel able to tell their school or college if they believe they have or may
have SEN. " 

"6.14 All schools should have a clear approach to identifying and responding to SEN. The
benefits of early identification are widely recognised – identifying need at the earliest
point and then making effective provision improves long-term outcomes for the child
or young person.

6.15 A pupil has SEN where their learning difficulty or disability calls for special
educational provision, namely provision different from or additional to that normally
available to pupils of the same age. Making higher quality teaching normally
available to the whole class is likely to mean that fewer pupils will require such support. Such improvements in whole-class provision tend to be more cost effective and sustainable.

6.16 Schools should assess each pupil’s current skills and levels of attainment on entry,
building on information from previous settings and key stages where appropriate. At
the same time, schools should consider evidence that a pupil may have a disability
under the Equality Act 2010 and, if so, what reasonable adjustments may need to be
made for them.
6.17 Class and subject teachers, supported by the senior leadership team, should make
regular assessments of progress for all pupils. These should seek to identify pupils
making less than expected progress given their age and individual circumstances...."

Reference : Special educational needs and disability code of practice: 0 to 25 years
Statutory guidance for organisations which work with and support children. Department for Education, January 2015 [/assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7dcb85ed915d2ac884d995/SEND_Code_of_Practice_January_2015.pdf]

Don't be misled by what the school may tell you ... read the statutory guidance. The school /must/ follow the guidance because it is the law. No excuses.

I responded with the law and guidance. If the school and/or LA refuse to implement the guidance, there is a complaints process all the way to SENDIST and higher courts. In reality you are right of course ... schools are underfunded. The LEA where I am a governor is overspent on their SEND budget by about £2m. My point was a factual one, the school <is> "obliged" (legally required) to meet special needs. They are also required by law to produce a balanced budget. The two are often incompatible, and the accountants win. Just because there is a legal right does not mean that there is a remedy ... the law is hedged around with "where reasonable practicable " and so on.

Does that happen in the real world? I think that the absence of a clinical diagnosis would tend to result in requests being minimally addressed. Many schools are financially constrained, so that even children with diagnoses receive little in the way of useful accommodations and focused help.