Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey there. New here. Not sure if it's my kind of "thing" but I'm giving it a try. My youngest was diagnosed level one autistic last fall. Our biggest challenge is what I thought was just teenage rebellion, but is demand avoidance / drive for autonomy which turned into leaving college during first semester, and coming back home. Her diagnosis started conversations between myself, her mother (my ex), and my siblings about our own mental health, challenges, past diagnoses, misdiagnoses, and a lot of online self-testing. I'm now scheduling a professional screening for myself. And reading (a perhaps excessive amount of) books and online material to "catch up" so to speak. What do I need to know, that I likely currently don't? What are the best ways to help myself, so I can best help my family?
NotPreparedForThis said:And reading (a perhaps excessive amount of) books and online material to "catch up" so to speak
This is such a typically autistic thing to do
What books have you read, and are there any specific problems or challenges you’re facing?
Re your daughter and university: I went to university at the age of 17, which was a huge mistake. Autistic people mature a bit more slowly than NTs and the ages of 16-21 were probably the most challenging of my life. Going to university on top of all that is just such a massive challenge. Perhaps she could return in a few years?
I also went to college at 17 ... and in retrospect, I also think it was a mistake. And watching her older sibling mature through college I'm inclined to agree that 16-21 are very difficult. We have hopes she'll return to college, if that's right for her, however the lack of plan drives me nuts, and my need to have a plan drives her nuts ... we'll get there.So far, in terms of reading, I've explored many academic and medical topics on Autism and in it's margins, also using "Aspergers" in my searches to home in relevant information to our personal situation, being mindful of the dates. A lot on NIH, focusing on impacts lifestyle choices can have (ex: caffeine, alcohol, diet, exercise, meditation) that can be tweaked and experimented with to find balance. I've lived 45 years not knowing I had a "condition" of any kind, just slowly tweaking my life with sleep, supplements, exercise and luckily landing in a pretty good place (aside from socializing). I'm hoping I can get her to do the same.
Aside from that online content / subject matter, I have read
Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Simon Baron-Cohen which I've since learned is a bit dated, but I found it still laid a good foundation of knowledge.Autism Working: A Seven-stage Plan to Thriving at Work which is essentially a workshop program which, through reflective questioning (ideally with a mentor or guide) develops an Employment Plan much like an Education Plan. It focuses on communicating strengths and weaknesses, triggers, what overwhelm looks like, possible reset options, and other strategies to thrive at work. I think this will be a good tool to help my daughter in the workplace, and could even unlock some new opportunities in my own career.Autism and Masking I've only recently started this one and I'm about a quarter through. This is primarily so I can understand masks from a more functional perspective. I'd be naive to consider that we've not been masking in various ways this whole time, I just think there may be some value in maintaining some of these filters / modes / barriers / defenses so I'll proceed more cautiously there.There are a couple more on my to-read list, but this is where I'm at, at the moment.
Just bought NeuroTribes — it was 30% off! Will look into the Wharmby book as well. Thanks so much.
A couple I would recommend are:
NeuroTribes by Steve SIlberman, which is an amazing introduction to autism and its history.
Untypical by Pete Wharmby, which would probably be quite good for giving a non-autistic person an understanding of how we experience the world and the challenges we face.
PS ... I will write a dozen words or a novel. No in between.