Published on 12, July, 2020
Im not officially diagnosed with autism, but I am mostly sure that i am autistic or at least neurodivergent in some way. I have always felt like there was something wrong with me, even when i was young I realised that there was something different about me, the way I thought, behaved and communicated was different than other kids. As i grew up, i just thought i must be doing something wrong, so i just tried to pretend to be more normal by copying people around me.
A few years ago, i was looking up something about autism, i don’t remember why, and I realised that autism is actually a lot different than what I thought and saw before on tv or media. And I also realised that i fit into most of traits and it explained a lot about my life and how I felt. I didn’t tell anyone about this, but I kept thinking about it ever since.
Around 3 years ago my younger brother got diagnosed with autism, so my mom started to learn more about it to be able to help and understand him better. And she told me about how she thought that i actually have shown a lot of signs since my early childhood.
At first i ignored it and thought i was just overthinking, but then i kept seeing things about autistic people and their experiences and i keep thinking about how much i relate. I also did a lot of research into the subject and even tried multiple online tests, so im mostly sure i have autism. But since i am still undiagnosed, it feels a bit wrong to actually call myself autistic or tell anyone. Can i still say i am autistic even if i dont have an official diagnosis? Would that be morally wrong or offensive to diagnosed autistic people? Sorry if i said anything rude or wrote too much.
PurpleLily said:Can i still say i am autistic even if i dont have an official diagnosis?
Yes absolutely! Self identification is perfectly valid, after all you know yourself best!
Welcome to your autistic community!
PurpleLily said:Would that be morally wrong or offensive to diagnosed autistic people?
Absolutely not! Please don’t worry about this. You are the expert on your own autistic experience!
For context, many of us are self identified including myself. I do not intend to pursue formal identification as I think it would be an unnecessarily negative and pathologising experience for me.
You are definitely not alone!
Ausomely Autistic said:I do not intend to pursue formal identification as I think it would be an unnecessarily negative and pathologising experience for me.
How do you diagnose/identify yourself if you don't use the criteria used by medical professionals?
If you don't use these criteria, then how do you know you are autistic? ie what criteria are you using?
Or do you actually use the medical criteria for diagnosing yourself?
If you do use the same medical criteria for your self-diagnosis, then what is the difference between you doing it and a medical professional doing it apart from thoroughness and that someone else is making the decision?
You say that 'formal identification' would be 'unnecessarily ... pathologising' but pathology is the study of disease.
Autism isn't a disease so a medical diagnosis isn't 'pathologising'.
The medical model is the pathology paradigm. I think diagnosis in the context of autistic people is a tool and function of the pathology paradigm, after all you usually only go to the doctor if you are ill. You shouldn’t need to see a doctor in order to gain identification of your neurotype. However I understand that we live in a society with limitations like this where my neurology is unnecessarily medicalised.
I also understand that for some autistic people formal identification is necessary in order to gain access to support.
If you want to learn more about the pathology paradigm, please read:
https://neuroqueer.com/throw-away-the-masters-tools/
By researching autistic experiences and culture for several years and heavily relating to autistic lived experiences.
Writing reports about autistic experiences and pursuing this as a dedicated interest, I would not be so interested and invested in autistic experiences if I was not autistic.
I have felt an instant intuitive deep connection with other autistic people for years, so I don’t need an uneducated professional to tell me who I am. I know who I am.
The autistic brain is wired differently though ie physically different.
Yes I am aware of this. My experiences of the world are vastly different to those of non autistic people so the fact that this is my experience is evidence of a different neurology.
I am very monotropic, hence why I have been researching autistic experiences for years. This is a key indicator that I am autistic, because why would anyone be so interested in autistic people if they were not autistic themselves?
Please read these links:
https://reframingautism.org.au/service/i-am-questioning-my-identity/#:~:text=Self%2Didentification%20is%20very%20personal,lots%20of%20research%20and%20reflection.
https://www.autisticparentsuk.org/post/self-identification-is-valid-formal-identification-is-a-privilege
My diagnostic report also listed “Restricted, Repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities” and “Deficits in Developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships”.
As I understand it, I had to score above a certain level in all of those criteria to meet the requirement for a formal diagnosis.