Published on 12, July, 2020
Im not officially diagnosed with autism, but I am mostly sure that i am autistic or at least neurodivergent in some way. I have always felt like there was something wrong with me, even when i was young I realised that there was something different about me, the way I thought, behaved and communicated was different than other kids. As i grew up, i just thought i must be doing something wrong, so i just tried to pretend to be more normal by copying people around me.
A few years ago, i was looking up something about autism, i don’t remember why, and I realised that autism is actually a lot different than what I thought and saw before on tv or media. And I also realised that i fit into most of traits and it explained a lot about my life and how I felt. I didn’t tell anyone about this, but I kept thinking about it ever since.
Around 3 years ago my younger brother got diagnosed with autism, so my mom started to learn more about it to be able to help and understand him better. And she told me about how she thought that i actually have shown a lot of signs since my early childhood.
At first i ignored it and thought i was just overthinking, but then i kept seeing things about autistic people and their experiences and i keep thinking about how much i relate. I also did a lot of research into the subject and even tried multiple online tests, so im mostly sure i have autism. But since i am still undiagnosed, it feels a bit wrong to actually call myself autistic or tell anyone. Can i still say i am autistic even if i dont have an official diagnosis? Would that be morally wrong or offensive to diagnosed autistic people? Sorry if i said anything rude or wrote too much.
Ausomely Autistic said:There would be no reason for me to feel intuitively connected to other autistic people if I wasn’t autistic.
You can feel connected to other members of society without being the same.
Ausomely Autistic said:I think formal identification is inherently pathologising as diagnosis is a tool and function of the pathology paradigm
It concerns me as there will be the autism that is diagnosed using standard criteria and those who diagnose themselves as you do by different (non standard) criteria.
Ausomely Autistic said:You shouldn’t need to go to the doctors for identification of your neurotype
I agree that there is a lot more information available nowadays compared to when I was young to self-diagnose using standard criteria, as I do (to avoid visiting the GP).
I do and many other autistics believe that the current diagnostic criteria is only reflective of an autistic person in distress and therefore the majority of the criteria is not relevant to our autistic experiences.
It’s not surprising given that the majority of autistics are unfortunately only identified when at crisis point.
Here is the autistic community definition which I heavily relate to and can be used instead:
https://ausometraining.com/am-i-autistic/
https://reframingautism.org.au/about-autism/
https://www.youtube.com/live/U4zzGFziZMU?si=wK5wL7PY8culr9BZ
There are numerous ways to discover your autistic identity, without using outdated and pathologising criteria . Regardless of the ways in which we discover our autistic identity we are still both equally valid autistic people.