Hello Everyone

Hi

I'm 44 and just diagnosed last month. Came out of the blue for me so still wrapping my head around it all! I really want to find some local people in a similar situation as I'm thinking it'll help. I just don't know where to start!

I've been going over and over my whole life, looking at it from a new angle and it's a lot to deal with. I've only told a handful of people and not even my parents yet. No idea where to start with that one.

I don't have a regular psychologist as such. The whole report was very 'textbook' - it seemed to forget that there was a human being involved (i.e. me). I think I'm getting over it. Sharing my assessment experience on Autastic.com made me feel a lot better - there were some beautiful, compassionate responses.

I was relieved when I got my diagnosis but must admit I've found myself somewhat conflicted trying to understand myself since. Is this your regular psychologist, and do they specialise in autism? If not, it might be worth finding one who is.

Hello everyone. I'm 41 and I received my autism report three days ago. I was extremely disappointed by it - it made me feel like a defective person. My psychologist wrote that I kept bringing the conversation back to myself, which I'm utterly baffled by - the appointment was about *me* and *my* brain. Anyway, I have had some lovely, encouraging messages from friends and fellow autists in response to me sharing my disappointment about the report. I hope this is a helpful post.

Have you figured out anything worth sharing?

Similar to this, 43, ASD didn't catch me back then and i was just a nerdy kid trying to figure out the rules. still am tbh.

It is, yes. I wasn't sure how to spell it, but I've heard a lot of good things about it. Is it nearby for you?

Is that the Machynlleth Comedy Festival? I didn't know about that one until now, thanks

I also went around 25 years ago, with my parents and my brother, we saw Bill Bailey and had to leave early because he finished after the car parks all shut. I don't travel much these days because of caring respovsibilities but I think if I did go to a festival I'd be tempted by Mach Fest. There's quite a good comedy club where I live which I go to once in a while. This time last year I saw Robin Ince and Laura Lexx.

No, I didn't get organised and it was too long a distance from me too at the moment youtu.be/diXTLc46X90 I'm attracted to Edinburgh Fringe Festival but haven't got to that either, have you? I did impulsively go once around 25 years ago but it turned out I'd got there a week too early (so I just hung around and visited the place instead) 

Thanks GPK26. What have you learned so far do you think?

Thanks Max. You're about 10 months ahead of me. Are you learning/understanding new stuff about yourself post diagnosis?

HI Effenel, thanks for replying. I take it your fur baby is a dog? We currently have two rabbits and two hamsters but we (my wife and I) have always had animals and they've always been important to us both.

I'm sorry to hear you've had a poor response to your diagnosis, that must be hard. I'm off to a big family event for the first time since my diagnosis and I'm nervous to find out a) whether any of them know/have taken the news on board and b) how they will react.

That's a pretty strong lineup, would have been a fun evening. I get a lot of comedy online via places like Nextup who have loads of shows online and even livestream from events like the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Did you go to the show?

Masking Is hard to overcome. I thought and still feel my diagnosis is an explanation of me having the right to just be me. No, society demand I act in a manner that accordingly is acceptable to what the mainstream consider ' normal' . It can become easier to isolate, it's what you do in isolation I think is key for me, each will have their own views on this. I try not to dwell on a lifetime of being punished, when 'we' should have been understood and helped, but that's gone now, I hold no anger from my past, but I struggle with my anger on the outside world to this day. 

When I'm faced with sheer ignorance, one ridiculous remark from the said person and its all over for me. My latest one being what led me to join here last week just for a sheer rant, and some advice, sorry, I'm digressing ha, but unfortunately aged 54 diagnosed 5 years ago, thinks have gotten worse for me, but the pandemic and a parent with dementia and a job I was hanging onto by a thread, and all the other things life throws at you, as well as other personal problems led to a very dark place. 

To date, I still feel bullied by society in having meet ' their ' expectations. As family have no understanding nor real acceptance of my conditions and all they entail, they still persist in putting pressure on making me responsible for things I don't necessarily think I should HAVE to do. 

Heres the irony, if I keep my mouth shut, mask and obey people I've known my entire life will insist there's nothing " wrong" with me.

When I finally speak out, lose control of my emotions, them same said people will say she's always been a bit " mad "

Find some peace in what you enjoy, mine is the solace and tranquility of myself and fur baby. 

I absolutely love being out in all weather walking her, unfortunately I live in the inner city, don't drive, could get lost in a shoe box, so the panic of that along with other issues I have, I'm pretty much stuck for scenery to escape into. I'm lucky to have 2 nice parks nearby, that helps. 

If you're person who struggles to stand up for yourself, I'd say to anyone, make it one of your priorities to make allowances for yourself, and if other people need to make them allowances also, thethat's only fair and right. Alas, the more society dictates to me, the harder them asd/adhd dig in. Rebel with a cause I am...I think  

Hi Ben, thanks for confirming and thanks for the welcome.

Hiya, I was dx last year, I'm mid 40's . There's lots of us in a similar position here :) 

Hello Talking Paradox

On your profile you ask, " Is that the sort of thing?"

Well yep! That's the sort of thing.

Welcome to the forum.

Ben

Yes, me similarly. I see you're especially into comedy, there's an NAS comedy event on this evening claphamgrand.com/.../

Hi TP

I'm just a bot older than you (wrong side of 50) and also diagnosed recently (last month).
You'll find there are a number of forum members that are of similar age group (generation) that are also quite newly diagnosed.

I think that we're all finding our feet in terms of what this all means when considering past, present and future.

Welcome!