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Parenting and rapid decision making

NAS89619
11 months ago

Hi there, new to this forum. 

My partner and I have a child under 2. My partner is autistic awaiting diagnosis but struggles to make decisions quickly. 

This can be very problematic for us as a family as it feels like we have to have a bruising time through trial and error before he'll get on my page. 

It's not very sustainable and doesn't make me very happy. Do I Vito him from decisions? Or is there any other ways?

Parents
  • 11 months ago

    I hardly think you can vito him from decisions.  Autistic people make autistic decisions for autistic reasons. It would be a recipe for disaster to just override that just as it would be a disaster to override yours. Down to the art of compromise, I'm afraid.  He'll find it easier to grasp and accommodate your perspective if you are very direct and explicit with your wants and needs and why you want and need them.  Then ask him pretty bluntly what his are.  Fingers crossed solutions then suggest themselves.

    Or if what you mean is the decision making about parent???  No, I don't think you can vito him there either, but you may need to agree a strategy with him in advance of things cropping up.  If your little one shows signs of autism too in due course, he may have the better insights.

Reply
  • 11 months ago

    I hardly think you can vito him from decisions.  Autistic people make autistic decisions for autistic reasons. It would be a recipe for disaster to just override that just as it would be a disaster to override yours. Down to the art of compromise, I'm afraid.  He'll find it easier to grasp and accommodate your perspective if you are very direct and explicit with your wants and needs and why you want and need them.  Then ask him pretty bluntly what his are.  Fingers crossed solutions then suggest themselves.

    Or if what you mean is the decision making about parent???  No, I don't think you can vito him there either, but you may need to agree a strategy with him in advance of things cropping up.  If your little one shows signs of autism too in due course, he may have the better insights.

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