Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all.
I’m hoping for some advice about my 12 year old daughter. I write this in tears, as I’ve had an awful day of being give the run around from several different services and I’m honestly lost as to what to do now and where to go.
my daughter has always been painfully shy and quiet, only 1/2 friends in her life, impossible to make new friends, fixated on one friend at a time. She won’t speak to anyone other than family and close friends. She doesn’t speak hardly at school. She told me 3 years ago she felt sad and feels different and doesn’t fit in.
I went to the doctor and she started CBT groups for 10 weeks, but it didn’t make a difference. She’s developed this refusal to go to school, her sats caused her to have physical panic attacks, anxiety, worry etc. she struggles with maths the most, like really really struggles, homework is her throwing herself round the floor saying she can’t do it, getting angry, lashing out etc.
fast forward to September this year she started year 7, this seems to have triggered her. She’s afraid of large crowds, she’s hearing all sorts of snogging noises likes pens clicking, kids chewing, tapping on tables, and can’t focus on learning for the noises. She having panic attacks. She’s unable to deal with her emotions, lashing out at home.
she’s on a referral list for her anxiety but I had to call the crisis team recently as she was saying things like she’s not meant for this world, she’s a freak, she wants to disappear.
crisis team told me they were doing a direct referral to CYPS but turns out they haven’t and won’t, but they didn’t tell me. I’ve called our local children’s service and shes on the mental health pathway for an assessment.
when I spoke with the crisis team they asked if anyone had explored undiagnosed autism. They feel she’s gone under the radar at school due to her shyness etc. I said no one has ever said anything however I had been looking at this myself for a few months.
long story short, I’ve just been told that she cannot be referred for neuro, as neither school or gp have noticed this. I can’t refer myself. Surely this can’t be right? From what I’ve read, so many girls in particular go undiagnosed??
I’m at a loss where to turn. Her new school don’t know her enough, she’s been there 5 weeks. There’s so many traits that I can’t even reel them all off here.
she needs support, we need to support, and I’ve rang 3 services today and all are passing me from pillar to post. I just don’t know what to do or where to begin but we can’t continue like this.
NAS89468 said:long story short, I’ve just been told that she cannot be referred for neuro, as neither school or gp have noticed this. I can’t refer myself. Surely this can’t be right? From what I’ve read, so many girls in particular go undiagnosed??
Ah, actually you can refer her yourself but you need to go to your GP and say you want to "get her assessed under the right to choose", specify "right to choose" because they can um and er it all they like but legally they do have to make the referral. And specify which service you want it to happen under. A few private services that offer the NHS right to choose for childeren are: Wellbeing https://www.wellbeingasd.co.uk/services/right-to-choose/ and Psicon https://www.psicon.uk/child-family-services/ have a look at those and see if you think one would be better for you and your daughter than the other.
what Bees says! My mate is doing this for her son because school refuse to see any problems because he keeps his head down and doesn't want to cause trouble or be the centre of attention at school.