Hey!

Hi. I've just joined and hope you don't mind me asking this sort of question but I don't know where else to ask! I am allowed to ask and find otherwise to help with this situation! 

My daughter is 9 years old and hasn't seen her biological father since 2016, well he's now decided he wants to see her and it's going through court. My daughter is not coping at all regarding the indirect contact. I've always made her aware about her father and always said I will contact him if she wants to see or talk to him but she's always said no!

We have tried weekly, every short and sweet emails from her father to my daughter which she then becomes extremely distressed and even hurts her self or tries running out of the house, this is the case when I even try and talk about her father.

Her father is now stopping the emails and will be sending a present and card now and again instead (directed by court) to see if she copes with this, but I have stated she gets overwhelmed with presents etc and doesn't cope anyways. Well I've told my daughter in preparing her and now she painics when a parcel turns up or the post turns up and she use to love it (we are waiting for the 1dt present etc to turn up yet) 

I've tried visual aids, just bringing up her father in a conversation, short social story but she just ripped it up, preparing her completely but she is just way to distressed. And we are unsure how else we could try and help with the contact as she just doesn't want to have contact and is so distress about it but court want it to progress so her father gets contact but my daughter is struggling massively and is not coping  is there anyone who's been through something similar and can suggest anything? I will definitely not force her as that will 100% not help and I'm her safe person but I just don't know what else to do! 

Thank you for taking the time to read this! ️