Hello. Looking for advice. Feel so sad.

CBear just wanted to say, you can go back to the GP and ask for referral for a second opinion.

Doctors can and do make mistakes and misdiagnose/miss a diagnosis and from what you say there are red flags for autism.

Fight for your son.  Don't get fobbed off, you have a right to get the diagnosis he needs.

Hi well that is us had our g.p appointment to have my son assessed for aspergers, i often struggle to give clear reason's on why he should be assessed, but when discussing his certain issue's with socialising & situations he has been involved in in the past my son broke down crying & i think the doctor realised there is a problem. So the ball is rolling. Thank you for all the advice. x

Thank you very much for all your advise & the information.

Thank you very much for all your advise & the information.

The school don't always necessarily support assessment, although you don't need them to, I know it's useful if they do.  There is a sticky on the forum about difference between school and home behaviour and this is well known about now.

Quote this at your doctor if you have to: http://www.nice.org.uk/CG128 and as he may already know about your son's dyslexia it isn't too much of a leap to understand that dyslexia ia one of the co-morbids with autism.

This scholarly article may help: http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02284715#page-1

This article talks about the higher risk of dyslexia in ASCs: http://www.intechopen.com/books/recent-advances-in-autism-spectrum-disorders-volume-i/co-occurrence-of-developmental-disorders-children-who-share-symptoms-of-autism-dyslexia-and-attentio

You don't even need to justify yourself to the GP just say that a lot of signs of ASC are being shown and already diagnosed condition is higher risk within autism.  You have enough concerns to warrant an assessment.

Thank you very much. Have you any tips for when i go to the gp or any of the other professionals. Unfortunately i don't think the school's will help us, as they can't seem to see past the dyslexia, but i have already spoken to a dyslexic support group & it was them amongst other people who suggested ASC.

Strong reasons to suggest you should get them assessed for ASC.  If you go to your GP and request this they cannot refuse.

I would just like to say hi. I am a mother of 3 My 2 son's have been diagnosed with dyslexia. I suspect they have aspergers, several people have suggested this to me. My eldest son is 13 years old, has speech problems, does not understand facial expression, sense of humour, he is in his 2nd year of a social group with a speech therapist, akward in social situations. he is unable to tell you what some one is going to do eg if someone is about to hit you. He struggles when to know if some one is joking, he takes things literally, emotionally he will burst into tears for no reason & can't explain why or explain why he is feeling any other emotion. My younger son is almost 12 years old, he is very similar except where my eldest son burst's into tears he looses his temper but does'nt always know why he is angry, in p1 - 3 he would hide under tables or in cupboards at school when he couldn't deal with something, he has no sense of personal space, he doesn't know when enough is enough, he also has sequencing problems. Is it worth having assessed for aspergers? is the behaviours i have meantioned even aspergers? advice from other parents in a similar position would be appreciated.Thank you. x

Dear C

I can relate to what you are saying - my son  was diagnosed earlier but suffered terribly at school, he couldn't concentrate, wouldn't study, at primary he had 25 hours of support a week but barely acheived any work - but at home was wierd and difficult to manage but bright and interested in so many things.

It has been a hard process - I was very hard on him at times - but I guess I repeatedly explained things, told him the rules, the right way to behave and the consequences again and again - nothing seemed to be going in at the time but it actually does - a year or more later you would find him doing or saying something that showed he was listening. He could but wouldn't read books.

We discovered that he has to choose to do something for himself, it cannot be imposed - and once he does and sets his mind to it it has been amazing what he can do -

He is now 25 and has a huge shelf of books he reads avidly on politics, comparatitve religeon, languages - He scraped through a few GCSES did a little better at A-level - then even better through his degree - and now he has been abroad for two years teachign english and is nearly fluent in two languages. He is very happy, has many friends and a girlfriend (one of many). You would not know if you met him that he had every had any problems at school. the key to starting him learning and reading turned out to be watching astronomy programmes on TV and then him realising you get books on Astronomy - he spent the next few weeks with his nose in Steven Hawkings books to our amazement.

The friends thing has come on gradually - through shared interests mainly -video games, language learning, etc.

Aim for normal but expect much more hard work that with any other kid! Expect to be frightened by the abnormal behaviour at times - encourage any interests you can and reach them through the interests - explain things all the time - they learn intellectually not by observation so much.

I have been amazed at what has been possible given the depths we were in when he was a child - he doesn't like to refer to it too much - but because it has been so hard for him and us - I am extra proud of him.

I am sure that you will be the same one day - hang in there

Thanks for the advice.

It's a real tonic being in touch with others who are going through the same thing. Felt really alone until I found this site. 

Goldenlady1 said:

However one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was by an speech threapist who said when dealing with the professionals you have to be a'a bit autistic' yourself and she meant just go at it and if they said no just persist .Politely but firmly so they know you are not going to go away.

Thanks Goldenlady1, as I have AS myself I am dogged in battling away to get what my girls need, it is incredibly stressful though!

I am so sorry for both of you and yoru Families.I have two sons ages 22 and 17 with ASD and High School was a nightmare for the second son.In the end he refused to go back in year 8 and so he was out of school for 6 months and then went into a specialist school for asperegers/autism.He was statmentented but  we found out in year 8 most of his support had been withdrawn despite having had the funding:-( It is just a constant battle.By the time we managed to get it to be agreed to be reinstated  by the LEA it was too late as he refused to go back in.we were advised to video or record his meltdowns and play a bit to our GP even though he had a diagnosis as when it happens at home it is only the Family who witness.

The school can try and make a quiet place he can go to eat his lunch even if in an empty classroom and if the child gets stressed out give them a red card to show the teacher to show they need time out.I also asked for my son to be put at the front of the classroom and that way it meant he was not being distracted.

My other son (oldest) went to a school which had a unit for autism/asperegrs and he could have his lunch in the unit with other pupils with ASD who he became friends with.My second son did not want to go to this school as he did not want to be 'labelled'.It is really hard and heart breaking with the challenges our children have to face in their daily lives.It helps to meet other parents who have children with ASD I found locally and you can give each other strength.Our kids are the heroes as every day can be a challenge for them in the school environment.Getting the right help goes along to helping them but sadly very often a battle which can be very draining. However one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was by an speech threapist who said when dealing with the professionals you have to be a'a bit autistic' yourself and she meant just go at it and if they said no just persist .Politely but firmly so they know you are not going to go away.

Thanks for replying. 

That's awful! So on top of everything the school won't help. Really feel for you. 

Son's school couldn't help but notice. He was banging his head up the wall after the first incident. He won't look people in the eye either and doesn't socialise. He has meltdowns at home when he gets angry with things but I can calm him down usuallly. Spends most time in his bedroom which makes me feel like I should be trying to get him downstairs more but when I do get him down he's off again when I turn my back. 

Its so hard because as a parent you feel as though you should have the answers to everything for them. I'm out of my depth and feel useless.

My 8yo has a diagnosis of HFA and my eldest is pending diagnosis, she is 12.

She has had bullying at school and food thrown at her in the canteen too, and is also panicking about returning to school tomorrow.

She is very self-contained at school and does not act out but at home has massive screaming meltdowns, crying, circling the room, stimming and going monosyllabic as well as threatening to kill herself.

It is awful.  All I can do at this time is hug her, reassure her and in the background I am appealing LAs refusal to assess for statement.  In your favour, the school are recognising your son's autistic traits and he has shown behaviour that has put up red flags, my daughter's school are denying she is failing to cope as she doesn't show anything at school due to inhibitions.  She was on SA+ and they have downgraded her to SA despite me having a meeting with them telling them how bad she has been.