Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello folks!
My brother is 41 and has just been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Since the age of 3 he has had behavioural problems. This has taken its toll on my Dad, Mum and me his sister. I had a nervous breakdown 20 years ago due to his behaviour and still bear the scars. On June 4th of this year my beloved father, a retired doctor, hurriedly packed a few suitcases and fled, with my Mum and our Labrador, to Scotland from England. I was with my fiancé in Glasgow when I got a desperate call from my father to say that they were at a motorway service station, fleeing for their lives from my brother. They took refuge with us. We provided a "safe house" for my dear parents. My Dad feared that my "aspie" brother would pour petrol through the letter box and they would be burned alive in their beds. He spoke to us about how best he and my Mum could protect themselves.
There is an army of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, RMNs, support workers and the list goes on ad infinitum of people who are devoted to caring for people like my brother. Who is looking out for us? Are we not the real victims of Aspergers? The police will only step in if we are assaulted. So we wait in our homes...to be attacked...murdered...annihilated...we don't know what awaits us but we wait.
i would be very interested to hear what this community thinks about our predicament. How do those with Aspergers feel when they read of our heartbreak? How do the professionals feel? What advice can they give us?
A final question...if there are any security experts reading this can they give us any tips on how to keep ourselves safe. I know I will never feel safe in this world while my brother is alive.
Kindest regards,
Anguished Sibling.
I would not say you are 'victims' of his Aspergers, but victims of his behaviour. I have Aspergers and am not by nature violent at all. I have had tantrums in the past, when I might have done something by impulse, such as throw books down the stairs ( I was very upset by my actions when I had calmed down). But I have never plotted to harm anyone, and am not vindictive. In fact, as Intense World points out, the majority of people with Aspergers are not prone to violence. If your brother is violent, I suspect that he might have another, related condition, on top of his Aspergers. Could he have a personality disorder or oppositional defiant disorder? If he is assessed as being a threat to your safety, one option would be to get him sectioned. Are mental health involved?