Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm new here and this is my first time reaching out on any kind of social forum. I was recently diagnosed with autism, I have struggled a lot my whole life with social interactions and due to so many misunderstandings and trauma I have spent a long time believing there is something wrong with me/that I'm a bad person (because no matter how hard I would try I would still upset or annoy people without understanding or realising).I was previously diagnosed with bipolar but recently it has been concluded that it was always autism and ADHD, which due to not being picked up on led to many problems that then caused the psychosis like secondary issues.I've lived more than 10 years now in isolation, and live alone. I don't go outside and I am afraid to be seen by others or interact with them so I only see doctors and such for my many health issues. I rely on pets and online interactions to deal with the loneliness, but found that online gaming communities are very toxic and I couldn't cope in them anymore.I have really severe anxiety, so have never been able to reach out in any communities before now. I hope I haven't overshared, as I know I have a habit of doing so and annoying people.It would be nice to have people to talk to though, so thank you for your time if anyone has spent it reading this :)
Hi Goblin. You didn't overshare.It seems many here have similar stories. I can work ok, but i have no social interactions outside of that. I too thought i was 'broken'.I recently came to this forum, and they seem to be a good bunch, so i hope you find what you need here and elsewhere in our community.
Hello, yeah I was deemed unfit for work a long time ago and have been reassessed every few years but found to be still unfit. I do have a lot of other health issues however, and a lot of secondary mental illnesses as a result of such a bad childhood to early 20's with unsupported autism.Feeling broken is definitely something I battle with regularly, I hope it will begin to change now that I have some understanding that it wasn't my fault. I'm sorry that you don't have social interactions outside of work, I'm very familiar with feeling lonely and isolated. I am jealous that you can work though, even if it could be stressful! I used to think about starting a life someday "when I get better" but as years pass it feels less and less like it will happen.