Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there,
I've been trying to pluck up my courage for a while to reach out on a forum like this, but it feels very daunting, not sure how it all works! So here goes... I'm a 37 year old woman diagnosed with ADHD about 5 years ago and autism Feb this year, after many years of incorrect diagnoses and struggles. I think I've masked for so long that I'm sort of going through a bit of an identity crisis, trying to work out what has been me and what has been masking etc. I'm guessing that's reasonably common among late diagnosed people? I don't know any other autistic people (well not any who have told me they are anyway!) and would really like to connect with other people with similar experiences etc. I emigrated to the UK 2 and a half years ago (during the height of the pandemic!) and have basically just not managed to connect with many people since then. I've always struggled to make friends, and had finally got some great ones, and then left the country, so it's been tricky!
I'm a teacher, working in alternative education, and am also doing a conversion MSc in Psychology, (and I have a 7 year old!), so life is very busy, but would love to be able to chat here at least! I think very deeply about all sorts of things and find that many people find deep conversations uncomfortable and prefer small talk, which I find very challenging! So would be great if anyone is keen to chat!
Hope I've done this correctly... Haha!
Hi! I'm 41m and recently found out I'm autistic and ADHD. My friend that's a psychologist told me under 2 months ago, and I was formally diagnosed just over 2 weeks ago. I'm going through an identity crisis also. What part is the real me and what part is the mask that I wear because people told me I needed to act like that? While it is a heavy matter to navigate, I find it appealing and pleasing to learn about autism. All the puzzle pieces are falling into place. It is also helping me adjust my environment to best suit my well-being rather than insisting I tolerate bothersome or hurtful stressors because neurotypicals find it normal and even insist I do so.
While I also have difficulty making friends, all my long-term friends are autistic. I used to think that autistic people were just cool and interesting. In fact, I went to a farmer's market one day, and there was a lady selling fidget toys. I asked someone what they were because I didn't recognize them. The lady said that they are for autistic kids. I seriously said out loud, "Man, those autistic kids know what's up." I still think autistic people are cool, but it turns out that I am one of them.
I live in the US, so services are likely different than in the UK. However, my local university has a support program for autistic people and families of autistic people. They require a formal diagnosis, which I just got recently, so I haven't attended any social gatherings, but I'm looking forward to meeting other autistic people now that I'm enrolled. Another thing I've been doing is attending monthly art classes at the local art museum and gravitate to the "weirdos" and away from the clique loud people. It's been nice to find us out there. Perhaps you can find some ways of finding us where you live.
Hi! Ah yes, it's so great to find your tribe! Looking back I can think of people I really liked who were probably autistic, and I just wish I'd had the language to connect with them, but I found it so hard to form friendships. The art classes sound brilliant! And how great to find out you're one of the cool kids after all! Because agreed, us neurodivergent types are pretty great, haha! So glad to hear things are falling into place for you too! :)