Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone .
My name is Philip , I'm 42 years old and after waiting for 3 years I was diagnosed with ASD on the 30h November 2022. I am very surprised with the diagnosis . I've always known there was something 'different' about me but I never imagined it was ASD .
I was my fathers carer for many years and we kind of looked after each other . He knew how to deal with me ,he was always kind , patient and would always explain things in a way I understood but he passed away in 2020 from Cancer.
I have been under the care of the Community Mental Health team who caused me more distress and difficulty. Now I have been discharged because they don't deal with people with ASD and with no services in my area which have all apparently been closed due to lack of funding , I am isolated and alone.
For the most part I thrive and love being alone but since we are social animals it would be nice to be able to relate and connect with other people. I have never had friends , I have no family , the only contact with people I have is with an Ex Neighbour who has been amazing, I can never thank him enough for how he's helped me but he has a family and his own responsibilities, I want to remain as unobtrusive as possible.
I am hesitant to come here because of how I've been treated by people in the past . I was abused by my Mother when I was younger ,bullied, taken advantage of and mocked by people because of my differences. If I had a pound for every time I was called 'weird' I'd be opening an Animal sanctuary to help poorly animals and the entrance would have a statue of a fox with a butterfly on their nose ( I love foxes )
It seems there are more cruel people than there are kind ones and coming here is my last attempt at making some kind of contact with people. I have often spoken with the Samaritans which have made me more self conscious with their comments, I don't think they mean to be . Maybe there should be a free phone service for people with ASD ... I don't know.. I have never actually spoken with people with the condition. I was always under the stereotype of people with ASD being very highly intelligent where as I'm an idiot.
I haven't wrote any of this for Sympathy , don't get me wrong .I unfortunately am too honest for my own good.
Thank you for taking the time to read my introduction and take care.
Hello Neuvalis, and congratulations on finding us here. I'm pretty sure this is the place you have been looking for - based on how I interpret and perceive your writing above.
Your words above are perfect. Measured, honest, true, simple, clear....and in parts, very beautiful to me.
My personal favourite bit is.........
I'd be opening an Animal sanctuary to help poorly animals and the entrance would have a statue of a fox with a butterfly on their nose
Its the type of detail that 'we of the same' notice. I think you will be happy here.
It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, and I look forward, very much, to bumping into you again soon on the pages.
Kindest regards
Number.
Hello Number ,
I hope you're well . Thank you for your thoughtful words. It feels unusual to receive such kind words and words of support from everyone, so thank you.
All the best and take care.
An idiot does not write as you do.
Accordingly, you can expect to be treated like anything other than an idiot.
To be honest, even idiots are accommodated here - I'm living proof of that.
I have found a level of connection here that I had no idea COULD exist in this world for someone "weird" like me.
Some people here have REALLY helped me by simply understanding what I saying and understanding how I'm feeling now and understanding how I have felt in the past. It is glorious.
I hope this will be your experience to.
Don't worry. I told someone recently they had a big head and could I measure it .I don't like social media too much gossip and nonsense . If you're ever overcome with weirdness we should share stories.
Well we do alright here, I think. I don't do any forms of social media because I cannot understand why one would wish too! I can be superficially sociable with others - albeit I'm always "odd"/"unusual" one - it is only here that I generally seem to be considered normal(ish)