Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m 53 and deep down have always known that my outlook is very different to others.
For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with things that some find easy and even exciting, I have just developed strategies to cope with the demands of life, mainly ensuring I’m busy, I’m in control and things are on my terms. This obviously doesn’t always work and relationships have suffered.
I haven’t sought help or a diagnosis before as I always thought it was just me, but the more the world has changed and the more we are encouraged to accept and celebrate our differences the more I have realised I may not be on my own.
However, what will having a diagnosis change for me, I will still feel all the things I have felt for the last 40 plus years, the anxiety won’t go away when my husband suggests going somewhere different on holiday, I won’t suddenly be able to maintain friendships.
Hello 86401, I am Number.
I'm not sure that a "formal diagnosis" helps someone in your position, but I do KNOW that accepting and understanding my autism has been MASSIVELY helpful to me. I still have all the old challenges and problems, but I now deal with them with significantly greater aplomb and a pervasive sense of "calm" that I had never thought possible in my cauldron of a mind. Being in this place, communicating amongst ourselves has also been massively important to me. I had no idea that there were people very like me in the most fundamental sense....who tolerate my nonsense, help me learn and, quite importantly, make me feel less alone.
I hope that helps - just my opinion obviously.