Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m 53 and deep down have always known that my outlook is very different to others.
For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with things that some find easy and even exciting, I have just developed strategies to cope with the demands of life, mainly ensuring I’m busy, I’m in control and things are on my terms. This obviously doesn’t always work and relationships have suffered.
I haven’t sought help or a diagnosis before as I always thought it was just me, but the more the world has changed and the more we are encouraged to accept and celebrate our differences the more I have realised I may not be on my own.
However, what will having a diagnosis change for me, I will still feel all the things I have felt for the last 40 plus years, the anxiety won’t go away when my husband suggests going somewhere different on holiday, I won’t suddenly be able to maintain friendships.
I was unsure as I am retired, until I had to go to A&E. I told the doctor I was autistic but this was dismissed as I had no official diagnosis. As a result, my GP has put z note on my medical records to show that he has put me forward for an official diagnosis.
Main difference in accepting I am Autistic is that, working with my GP I am slowly coming off my antidepressant. I can now see that, what we thought was depression, is actually meltdown/shutdown and I can treat is accordingly by taking time out when I feel I am running out of energy.