Hello, adult (51), daughter diagnosed with ASD, partner is an Aspie ... just waiting for adult assessment

Hi everyone

Well, decided to take the plunge and get referral to adult ASD/ADHD services for an adult assessment.   Long suspected this was me but just battled on, recent events at work have led to me seeking a bit of a formal assessment/diagnosis as that would help immensely.

Daughter is 'high functioning Aspergers', she's just in her GCSE years and we had to go down the private assessment route (GP just said she looks fine *rolls eyes*), consultant child psychiatrist and consultant speech and language therapist assessment was done (cost us a grand) and confirmed what we thought, this was just before she started secondary school - and has been immensely helpful in her school years.  I didn't want her to experience what I did at school and have done through adult life.  My partner is also an 'aspie' (I know there's controversy about whther to use 'aspie' or 'neurodivergent' and I don't want or have the energy to start a flame war here so I'll use those terms is that's OK).

I have a strong family history, looking at things, of ASD, my mum is most definitely ASD, although as the first generation daughter of Chinese immigrants into the UK there was total ignorance of such things, a large cultural 'shame' or 'face saving' of anything to do with mental health issues.  My mum had a sister who was, looking at photos, and descriptions on the more severe 'classical' autistic side. She was always heaped upon and said to 'be difficult / surly / grumpy'.  I really feel sorry for her.  She was just a lost soul in a very harsh world.  My mum had 3 brothers and they're all pretty much on the ASD spectrum with varying interesting presentations.  2 were very successful clinicians, both chess champions.  1 was a total hermit but my favourite uncle and a really lovely guy, he unfortunately passed away a few years ago, no family although had a long-term girlfriend who he did not live with.  1 other uncle was a successful clinican but totally arrogant and quite rude abrasive personality.  The other brother seemed quite 'classical' autistic and lived in and out of sheltered accommodation.  All my uncles have passed away and my mum has turned 80 and is in very poor health.  My dad also has bladder cancer and is currently being treated, although he's in hospital at the moment for various infections ... and it's not looking great.

It's a very stressful time for all concerned.

Anyway, here I am, the waiting list might be yonks but once I get confirmation through from adults ASD services (I had to tackle the usual totally unsympathetic and not empathic GP) on referral, I might consider going down the private route to pay, I can't really afford to wait the 1-2 years.  

I live in the north-west region (Manchester) and have a fairly decent small social circle.  As many others will agree, I don't really like going out and mingling too much, I prefer being out in nature and find the "in-your-face" of todays world really stresses me out