Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone. I've been recently diagnosed and wondered if anyone else is Autistic and a carer?
My diagnosis wasn't a surprise, I have always been playing the board game of life without knowing the rules or having any instructions.
Anyhoo, as an adult who has just hit 60, in a full time demanding job and looking after my elderly, frail mother, I sometimes feel as if I am totally alone in this regard. My mum was always the one who looked after me , completely understood how I was different to my 4 siblings (although didn't know why) and now the tables have turned and life is very hard. My sibling don't help and quite frankly, don't care.
Anyone else in the same or similar position?
I cared for my mum 2015-2019 as dementia slowly destroyed, and finally killed her. It was incredibly hard and exhausting and traumatising work but there was never a moments doubt that I would. She had been so supportive and kind to me through many serious life events that it was absolutely right that I should, she wasn’t a perfect mum though, called me a “house side” as she was really prejudiced against fat people, and no doubt was part of the environment that damaged me as a child. But I knew that her faults were part of her upbringing and the society she was part of, an era we now criticise for their beliefs, wrongly imo as right and wrong change in space-time. For the last four months of her life I’d had to put her in residential dementia care, taking her that day was absolutely the worst day of my life but I’d reached rock bottom physically and mentally so it was a last resort. I thank her every day for her many many gifts which totally overwrote her faults.
Bless you for sharing your story. You sound like a very caring and empathetic person.