Aspie in the middle.....

Hi, I call myself an Aspie but if anyone has issues with using the term Aspergers I'm fine with being autistic.  I'm in my fifties with teenage kids, I was unofficially diagnosed (by my psychologist) a few years ago and didn't pursue a formal diagnosis.  He put me onto Tony Attwood's material which I find very positive and encouraging, although it hasn't solved all my problems.

The Aspergers became obvious only when I had children and started having meltdowns (which thankfully I no longer have).  I had been masking all my life ('pretending to be normal'...) and I think I used to have shutdowns rather than meltdowns.  I've had mild depression much of my life but my counsellor thinks that the depression is really just a symptom or byproduct of my anxiety, which makes sense.

Once I had children (whom I of course dearly love and very much wanted), I could no longer control my life or retreat as I needed to, and of course had to be giving attention and affection and be emotionally giving, so I was able to do it but kept getting burned out - hence the meltdowns which I felt so terrible about.

Getting my informal diagnosis in my late forties was a true lightbulb moment.  But one of my biggest frustrations is that most of the literature and media I've read advises neurotypicals how to understand autistic family members.  There's not very much about an autistic mother having strategies to deal with autistic hubby etc.

So I'm still struggling - my hubby is on the spectrum, we're both pretty sure of that - but he is not embracing it.  And I still have teenagers to manage.  Life is a bit tough of late - I have God on my side but it has been an annus horribilius as QEII would have said.  I won't go into all that now or this will be far too long.

I've only read a couple of other items so far but relate to them so much.  Thank you for this forum, it looks like a good one!!!