Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there never done this before but was wandering if anyone had any advice on how to deal with extreme loneliness and being stuck in self destruction mode to the point not coping daily and just see everything as catastrophic I am autistic and have adhd and other mental health problems and I am stuck in such a negative place and need help seeing the brighter side and on how make friends or meet people when can’t cope with the outside world or understand it I do have partner but struggle with that also since he very outgoing and also has cheated in past and now stuck in even more of negative thinking place where overthink everything to extreme more than usually do just over worry and panic about everything and wandered if this normal and if so how to snap out of it as on own and also have a son who also has autism and adhd and other disorders too so is challenging when just us two and feel very isolated and wandered if anyone can help with trying to be more positive or to learn to cope on own fully without feeling extremely lonely or if anywhere can seek help to maybe find friends in same position
any advice appreciated
I’m sorry. It can all feel so overwhelming can’t it? can I recommend a book that has helped me - it’s called ‘How to be your own therapist’ by Owen O’Kane. They’ll probably have a copy at your local library if you don’t want to buy it. Essentially it looks at why you are thinking the way you are (essentially most of our thoughts about ourselves and the world are learned and often the thinking patterns we have are quite self destructive) and it helps you challenge unhelpful and catastrophic thinking and try to replace it with more helpful thinking and healthier ways of approaching difficulties when you face them. You do have to commit to it and give time to it but it really has helped me to feel more positive and to panic less, and to reduce my more catastrophic negative thinking. I was in a very dark place over the last few months and this book has really helped me. Another thing that’s helping me is meditation - which I’m a beginner at but it’s already been quite helpful.
There are also some good things on YouTube called ‘Therapy in a Nutshell’ - which I’ve found helpful.
There really are ways to get through the tough times - don’t lose hope. And this community is really friendly and supportive- so you’re not alone. I hope you start to feel a bit better soon :)
Thank you I just have found myself also being stuck in such a negative destructive place to point pushing everyone around me away and just feel like it’s getting worse to pint sick of hearing myself speak and because have no friends or support that way I just wandered what could help so don’t lose self entirely thank you for advice I will definitely go and have a look at that book right now in fact thank you for getting in touch if can return favour anytime let me know will be there, quick question if ok I have had anti depressants in past before but they didn’t help because they cut me off more emotionally and have always struggled with regulating my emotions or empathy and found they made me more cold and cut off are there any medications out there any you guys would recommend or found that helped for you?
Hi Holly,
anti-depressants didn’t work for me either - in fact they made me much worse. I haven’t found any medication that’s really helped me. Some people on here have found that cannabis helps - although when I asked my GP about it she said there were risks with that of course. At the moment I’m sticking with therapy and Meditation - and it’s helping. I hope the book helps you too. Good luck x