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At a loss

EverythingIsWeird
over 2 years ago

Hello. I am new here and dont really know why im writing this.

I dont know if i belong here, im in a bit of a limbo.

My referral for assessment has been accepted Following 20+ therapy sessions. I have been waiting. I got in touch with my local autism assessment service and they said the wait in my area is now around 18-24 months putting my assessment date to early 2024. I am so lost. Something happened to me over a year ago and it reset all my social skills i have learnt over my whole life. I feel like i dont like anyone, i dont want to know anyone and i have no interest in anything. Work is crap. Mental health is at the very bottom but common sense is preventing any suicidal thoughts. I contacted talking therapy again and the guy i spoke to even said to me he doesnt want to put me through 'coping strategies' because i am strongly presenting with autism traits and coping strategies will mean i am intentionally put into situations that are uncomfortable and he honestly doesn't think it will do my health any good. He said he doesnt want to refuse therapy but he asked me to consider if i really want it. My gp suggested signing me off work and prescribing "short term sedation" to help deal with how im feeling right now. I really dont think that will help. I am at a complete loss and i dont feel like im entitled to any advice from autism side because without the diagnosis i dont feel like i belong in the community. I am so so stuck and i dont know what to do. Lately i am terrified to wake up because i know i will have to face the day. 

My new therapist told me i could look on NAS website for advice and support. Im just feeling at a complete loss and dont know where to turn at this point. Im sorry for rambling on this took ages for me to post because im terrified i dont belong in here and it feels like im labeling myself already. Im also scared that assessment will say im not autistic. 

Thank you for reading if anyone does.

Parents
  • over 2 years ago

    You don’t have to have a diagnosis to ‘belong’ here. In my experience this is a very welcoming and supportive community - it’s not asking you to ‘prove’ anything. The waitlist for autism assessments is outrageous - I’m sorry you’ve been left in limbo without the clarity you want in terms of a diagnosis. 
    What matters more than a diagnosis is that you find ways to ease your anxiety and bring you comfort from the distress you’re experiencing. The diagnosis isn’t a magic bullet - so it’s not essential in order for you to start working on feeling better. 
    I don’t know how much you know about autism - but being well informed and reading about autism might help you to discover what will help you to reduce your current stress levels. I know that when we’re highly stressed it can be hard to engage with finding ways to help ourselves - but because of the lack of services we have to try  to help ourselves as best we can. Try to do some research, read about autism etc. Coming on here is good as there’s a lot of friendship and support on here. Is there anyone in your life who is really supporting you? Someone you can lean on and ask for help? 
    It will get better - I promise. You’re in crisis mode but a crisis eventually comes to an end and you will get through this. 
    Be kind and compassionate to yourself - it’s going to take time for you to work through this but you will get there. You need rest and peace and time to get well? Do whatever brings you comfort. Take care of yourself as you would take care of a friend if they were distressed. 

Reply
  • over 2 years ago

    You don’t have to have a diagnosis to ‘belong’ here. In my experience this is a very welcoming and supportive community - it’s not asking you to ‘prove’ anything. The waitlist for autism assessments is outrageous - I’m sorry you’ve been left in limbo without the clarity you want in terms of a diagnosis. 
    What matters more than a diagnosis is that you find ways to ease your anxiety and bring you comfort from the distress you’re experiencing. The diagnosis isn’t a magic bullet - so it’s not essential in order for you to start working on feeling better. 
    I don’t know how much you know about autism - but being well informed and reading about autism might help you to discover what will help you to reduce your current stress levels. I know that when we’re highly stressed it can be hard to engage with finding ways to help ourselves - but because of the lack of services we have to try  to help ourselves as best we can. Try to do some research, read about autism etc. Coming on here is good as there’s a lot of friendship and support on here. Is there anyone in your life who is really supporting you? Someone you can lean on and ask for help? 
    It will get better - I promise. You’re in crisis mode but a crisis eventually comes to an end and you will get through this. 
    Be kind and compassionate to yourself - it’s going to take time for you to work through this but you will get there. You need rest and peace and time to get well? Do whatever brings you comfort. Take care of yourself as you would take care of a friend if they were distressed. 

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