Published on 12, July, 2020
My 8 yr old grandson is awaiting a further assessment to identify his future needs. He has global delay identified when he first began nursery. However , school, G.P. parents and myself are still awaiting for another assessment, where Autism has been mentioned by his senior teacher and head.
is there anyone out there that could explain to me some of his recent outbursts or meltdowns. Example for instance…… Today he would not let his little 2 yr old brother take home to their house a little toy. My 8 yr old was repeating “ no, Charlie can’t take it home, it must stay at Nanny’s” He was hurting his little brother and nothing or any words would pacify him. He became extremely upset and angry. I read up on something called a possession syndrome, but is it that. Or is it a sign of my 8 yr old being within the Autism spectrum? please I would be so appreciative if someone out there can recognise this behaviour, it has been happening very, very regular over the past year and I have never witnessed this type of behaviour from any of my 5 grown up children or any of my 10 grandchildren. It is so very upsetting to see him in such distress.
Perhaps he may have been expected to adhere to this rule. Rules are supposed to be fundamental to maintenance of order - They are reliable and safe. We discover Rules for Science, Rules for social graces. Or think of a Rule as the instruction manual for the mechanics of any machine: coffee machine, watch, Radio, Car. If you open up a car and take out a piece, it won't function the same. We need every component in it's working station for this production line to operate.
Now... for someone who relies on the laws of the universe to stay in place so the earth doesn't just go hurling away from the sun, or heavily relies on grounding rules when language is difficult, he may need an introduction to a new kind of functioning Order. He will need help really getting a good understanding of hard Rules and soft rules. He will need help understanding fully why a rule changes. Perhaps getting an ice cream is a good analogy. We are still getting an ice cream, but today I am getting a different flavour because I like the smell.
It may also be that every particular item at your house is catalogued in his mind. Again, a source of reliability. I have the whole picture and it includes this exact list of toys. A thing out of place upsets the whole bio-dome. The picture is incomplete and starting to create stress like a 1000 piece puzzle which you know is missing a piece. Or a loss of an endangered animal, breaks a chain and the whole pond and it's pond life suffers.
And lastly it could be simple: all of us have a difficult time when a rule is applied to us and not to someone else. A quick glance though the paper and Partygate is still a hot topic. Ethics are important.
It may be that in his mind, certain toys "belong at Nanny's" and others belong at home - your 2-year-old is not fitting in with his world view and sense of order and what belongs where, and that is causing him discomfort. Think of a visitor in your house "helping" you clear up after breakfast, but they put everything away in the wrong place, then multiply that irritation many times over ...
Is it worth the battle? Can you tell your two-year-old "leave it here and you will be able to play with it next time you come to see Nanny."? Or you might get away with saying something like " I know the toy belongs at Nanny's house, but A can borrow it and keep it safe, then you can bring it back next time we visit"
As I understand it, possession syndrome is when a person believes that they are possessed by evil spirits ... it does not sound like that applies to your grandson! It sounds a lot like autistic thinking to me.
Hi NAS79036 and welcome to the forum,Our info page on meltdowns may be worth a read to learn more about these and what can be done to lessen their severity.https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiencesBest wishes to you and your grandson,Kevin Mod