Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all.
I am Richard from the westmindlands area and im 44 years old.
Very nice to come here.
I am seeking some support and possible help.
To start off with a story of myself and to what caused me to come here.
Okay this is a bit of a sketchy ride and i think mostly from my thoughts and type as i go.
Starting of from a child's , i apparently was born with a lack of oxygen and it effected my Brain.
I have no evidence of this but that's what me mother told me.
To my knowledge also.
Speech issues.
Behavior issues.
wright and spelling difficulty's.
Possible , psychiatric child's difficulty's.
As growing up, 2,3 4 years old... i did developed talking issues, but i only know mostly details around age 4 or so.
I had a speech training, which was a school and had also at home, for a lest 4 years i had much speech coach training.
I was also seeing many over professionals and put in a room with toys, show pictures on screens, but my school did all this.
I am also quite clear too, that i also use to be accessed from the child's Burt unit, ?, which was either Redditch or Bromsgrove area.
What was the outcome, how would i of know ? i was only a kid.
As a kid i did know nothing about what was going on..
My mom was in a mental hospital for many years and my dad had taken care of me, until my mother was better.
I was constantly bulled at school because of my speech delays, didn't make friends ect ,as such until high school really.
In all schools i was so behind, i was the kid always asking for help, i did have much help but you could tell me many things and i would instantly forget
what you had told me, i am still very much like that now 30 odd years on.
I never had help afterwards in my adult life, i guessed i just lived on knowing i was autistics, but was i diagnosed with it ?
This is also the very reason i come here, as I am experiencing different approaches in my adult life and i am certain that it is me being autistic.
I have weird sleep pattens, horrible dreams, I get very panicky, I don't have a routine, i don't make plans, I don't go out my zone , i don't go areas alone, i don't make new friends,
or even make new relationships, I often feel i am hitting road blocks, the feeling of entrapment. People have bully me for many years and abused me, I am scared, i haven't worked for many years either now and i get frighten to make any changes for myself.
I never had support, people listen to me then disregard me many many times, my social matters do just get worst and go around in constant roundabouts and am never taken seriously.
When ever i ask for support, its never what i wanted, i never beg for help, i am a survivalist.
my other matters are my 2 sons from different ex's. My first son who is 12 has optical allusion's on he's brain,
My over son who is 8 has the same.
Over many courses of years, i have been to many differently doctor clinics to get a re - diagnostics, but for some plain reason hasn't do anything, telling me it takes many months for this. I have waited around, thus also being told how do you know you are autistics ? They have even not cared to find my medical records, which has all the details from me as a child.
I'm Feed up, i feel very medically neglected, and have done so for many a years.
My life feels it going all down into a drain. I don't know how to help myself and overs do not help me either.
So i am here, i don't know what this site is about, what people do, but i like some assessment ? to change my diversity and have some direction in my life and gradually with some help to become more logical of my choices.
Yes, id like to get re-diagnosis ! as many years ago they was less testing method's as they is today and new methods today that can quickly identify.
My word. It sounds like you've had a childhood diagnosis that may have been lost. That's awful. And yes, you need the diagnostic position sorted out. The NHS is a horrible wait.
But meanwhile, I think we can all see that you are struggling. There's so much here we may be able to help with...little chunk by chunk, so stick with us.
You might want to see what's available locally to meet people on the Spectrum for starters. West-Midlands, you say. Me too. I know Mind Adult Autism Services run courses here for the newly diagnosed, and people awaiting diagnosis. One of those courses might both give you a chance to meet other autistic people and give you a few tips for dealing with the more immediate problems.
Meanwhile, chuck your problems out here. Someone will recognise them. Some one will have tips and suggestions. And at least you'll know you aren't alone.
I struggle in the insides of my emotion's, on the outside i look good, i look quite young too.
yesterday i had such a break down i had the ambulance out to me, they did some checks and they were very nice people, the one guy he support me very well, it was the ambulance guy who told me to come here
, i hold onto things all the time, it is drama that quite surrounds me a lot, family, outsiders.
Sometimes i feel 'invisible' Often when i talk, people only here the first few bits' then they switch motive.
i try to understand the world, my positions i am in too. Things crop up' and things never get resolved, i am always fighting a battle and the battle seam's so endless.
I don't do drugs, i don't even drink, i don't even take any medication, i not allowed to have it the doctor sate, because i am asthmatic.
a lot burden's me, i do live alone too. I want to be able to reach out to people, I've helped so many in groups before, i have friends all around the world, but i don't have any close friends at home. I get used off, i let people walk all over me.
Makes me sad. Family just don't help me, i don't ask either because of their struggles. I am always asked. are you 'okay. i say yes. that's about the only communication i have with people at my home town.
I know Mind Adult Autism Services run courses here for the newly diagnosed, and people awaiting diagnosis. One of those courses might both give you a chance to meet other autistic people and give you a few tips for dealing with the more immediate problems.
I would like that very much and thank you, i will stick around. thanks to all.