Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all.
I am Richard from the westmindlands area and im 44 years old.
Very nice to come here.
I am seeking some support and possible help.
To start off with a story of myself and to what caused me to come here.
Okay this is a bit of a sketchy ride and i think mostly from my thoughts and type as i go.
Starting of from a child's , i apparently was born with a lack of oxygen and it effected my Brain.
I have no evidence of this but that's what me mother told me.
To my knowledge also.
Speech issues.
Behavior issues.
wright and spelling difficulty's.
Possible , psychiatric child's difficulty's.
As growing up, 2,3 4 years old... i did developed talking issues, but i only know mostly details around age 4 or so.
I had a speech training, which was a school and had also at home, for a lest 4 years i had much speech coach training.
I was also seeing many over professionals and put in a room with toys, show pictures on screens, but my school did all this.
I am also quite clear too, that i also use to be accessed from the child's Burt unit, ?, which was either Redditch or Bromsgrove area.
What was the outcome, how would i of know ? i was only a kid.
As a kid i did know nothing about what was going on..
My mom was in a mental hospital for many years and my dad had taken care of me, until my mother was better.
I was constantly bulled at school because of my speech delays, didn't make friends ect ,as such until high school really.
In all schools i was so behind, i was the kid always asking for help, i did have much help but you could tell me many things and i would instantly forget
what you had told me, i am still very much like that now 30 odd years on.
I never had help afterwards in my adult life, i guessed i just lived on knowing i was autistics, but was i diagnosed with it ?
This is also the very reason i come here, as I am experiencing different approaches in my adult life and i am certain that it is me being autistic.
I have weird sleep pattens, horrible dreams, I get very panicky, I don't have a routine, i don't make plans, I don't go out my zone , i don't go areas alone, i don't make new friends,
or even make new relationships, I often feel i am hitting road blocks, the feeling of entrapment. People have bully me for many years and abused me, I am scared, i haven't worked for many years either now and i get frighten to make any changes for myself.
I never had support, people listen to me then disregard me many many times, my social matters do just get worst and go around in constant roundabouts and am never taken seriously.
When ever i ask for support, its never what i wanted, i never beg for help, i am a survivalist.
my other matters are my 2 sons from different ex's. My first son who is 12 has optical allusion's on he's brain,
My over son who is 8 has the same.
Over many courses of years, i have been to many differently doctor clinics to get a re - diagnostics, but for some plain reason hasn't do anything, telling me it takes many months for this. I have waited around, thus also being told how do you know you are autistics ? They have even not cared to find my medical records, which has all the details from me as a child.
I'm Feed up, i feel very medically neglected, and have done so for many a years.
My life feels it going all down into a drain. I don't know how to help myself and overs do not help me either.
So i am here, i don't know what this site is about, what people do, but i like some assessment ? to change my diversity and have some direction in my life and gradually with some help to become more logical of my choices.
Yes, id like to get re-diagnosis ! as many years ago they was less testing method's as they is today and new methods today that can quickly identify.
Sorry to hear about your problems.
First of all, if you need an assessment, be prepared for a very long wait, maybe 2 years. You will need to tell your GP why you think you are, and give some good examples, and how a diagnosis might help you going forward.
You said you don’t have a routine, or make plans. A lot of Autistic people live by sameness and routine. What things make you feel you are Autistic?
I think you also need to send them a letter requesting your medical records, and to ask if they can find out some information on you since birth. They have a right to give you this information.
In the meantime, you could try writing to the centre that you were at as a child. Perhaps they can access your records if the place is still there?
Do you have a trusted individual or family member that can help you?
Are you in contact with the mothers of your children, and might they help you write a letter?
be prepared for a very long wait, maybe 2 years.
I have waited about 15 years and repletely got nowhere, going back and back to doctors who are clueless.
If a doctor can just pass you off and lower their payload.
They will just do quite that.
That's what happens to me in all what i do, i go forwards and end up backwards.
You Just never get a review, i get put off ' and constantly to a point were the doctor feels , i am a pushy sod.
You said you don’t have a routine, or make plans.
No i don't, i don't get up and wash, brush me teeth and eat breakfast in the mornings,
I sleep in my cloths everyday, i wake up and and often go back to sleep, Times i don't even care for myself and when i decide to clean, wash, ect or eat i do that mostly do that midday, Call it metal depression, My mother had it for years, my nan, my grandad ect. Its not that i am a lazy person, i lack certain confidence and self esteem.
What makes me think that i am Autistic, i don't think it ! i know i am.
I went from being a child with not being able to speak, making sounds. My over half kid is the same only speaks 2 words and he is 14 years old.
some how i came out of that faze with much professional help, god bless the kid will never :(
i can't stand a tv on loud, it drives my head mental, but i can go a disco, weird.
i went from being the incapable child to the most clever kid, Loads of hobbies, i can tap into things were its impossible for some, my brain never shuts off. I am able to put puzzles together, i could build a space rocket, a ufo with the wright tools.
i say the most be sire things and people are just like, wow were did this come from..
I never was like this before, i was a slow learner, then suddenly when i reached about 14, i just went highly brainy. My doctor sates that my brain is as a 80 year old, even i am only 44.
My world is differently, i am often Dark in theory, i read people without even knowing them.
contact with the mothers of your children. No i don't see any of my children, because they abused me
. in always possible. Nast vile and they was never like that, they changed their behaviors' towards me and make my children pay. They love me to bits as much i do for them too. I am facing court battles, time after time.
I have problems with communication and understandings, these are my failures in life.
I have a high tendency to just give up hope in a instance. I shut down and switch myself off.
Thanks for your kind msg.