Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed with high functioning autism earlier this year at age thirty-seven, after a very, very long process of trying to get an accurate diagnosis. I've spent all my adult life struggling with mental illness. My depression significantly subsided after my ASD diagnosis. I stopped seeing myself as a neurotypical who fails at things for no reason and instead as an autistic person who has the challenges that go with that. It basically gave me permission not to beat myself up for my struggles, which was a relief.
I'm still learning to find my place in the world. I've never worked full-time. I currently work part-time, not in the type of job I thought I would have and am trained to have. It's a practical struggle (to earn money) as well as a more emotional one (to do something I enjoy). I also struggle a lot with fatigue, particularly around work, and I'm trying to find more information about autistic burnout and autistic fatigue.
Luftmentsch said: It basically gave me permission not to beat myself up for my struggles, which was a relief.
This is what I hope will happen with me. I'm still in the waiting part of the assessment process. Some things that may or may not help:
What works for you to relax and zone out? I blast music and dance or walk or snuggle with a heavy blanket or inhale lavender when I'm really bad. You could develop a system where you do snippets of relaxation within your work. Is there an empty office space where you'd be allowed to go in break times to destress?
Fatigue- I started taking vitamins as this helps and I eat organic food. I guess it's also about building switch off moments into your day that work for you. On the days you work you could do as little as possible when you are home? On days off you can gauge how you feel as to how much you can handle doing? I break things into very small pieces when depression is an issue- I'll just get out of bed and get a drink, I'll sit for a while. That's a huge step even just getting out of bed and an achievement as it's temping to put the covers over your head and not face the world.....
I guess it's about knowing yourself and recognising what works for you and what doesn't. I've realised that I can't work at the moment as it means I am too stressed to be a good parent/daughter/sister and friend. It's difficult for me to accept but when I realised that other people didn't experience the world in the sensory sense that I do, I thought maybe they wouldn't be able to work either. It does help gaining more understanding of different peoples experiences. Reading and posting on this forum also helps with this.
It's wonderful that your diagnosis meant that you are less hard on yourself now because of the new perspective you have.
Best of luck. :-)
To relax I like to watch TV especially Doctor Who (special interest!), to read or to go for a walk. I can't really take time to relax at work, except at lunch, but I'm working somewhat shorter days at the moment so I just push through and crash when I get home. I am trying not to have to do much when I get home, but it's not always feasible. Breaking things into little pieces is a good idea, I used to do that when I was very depressed. Thanks for the tips!