Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed with high functioning autism earlier this year at age thirty-seven, after a very, very long process of trying to get an accurate diagnosis. I've spent all my adult life struggling with mental illness. My depression significantly subsided after my ASD diagnosis. I stopped seeing myself as a neurotypical who fails at things for no reason and instead as an autistic person who has the challenges that go with that. It basically gave me permission not to beat myself up for my struggles, which was a relief.
I'm still learning to find my place in the world. I've never worked full-time. I currently work part-time, not in the type of job I thought I would have and am trained to have. It's a practical struggle (to earn money) as well as a more emotional one (to do something I enjoy). I also struggle a lot with fatigue, particularly around work, and I'm trying to find more information about autistic burnout and autistic fatigue.
It’s such a good feeling being able to explain those difficult times in your life and why you react as you do to situations. Finding out I have ASD has been such a relief mostly and as you say, it stops one beating oneself up so much.
For me it was more like extra anxiety guess but going from being told I just learning difculties then being told I had a learning a disability instead was kind of a life line so yeah get what you mean and actually being reasured I had an above average IQ was also reasureing too. So yeah I get that.