Just had diagnosis aged 48. Unsuprised but in shock!

Your pity for your younger self will dissipate. Going through what you're going through is part of the process, it doesn't just stop after diagnosis. Enjoy getting to appreciate your real self. 

I had a diagnosis of High Functioning ASD (not affecting cognition or language) a few months ago ... in my mid 60s. 

I don't feel any relief (as others here do) but a lot of stuff from earlier in my life has slotted into place. I do mean a lot.

If I'd known this in (say) my 20s I'd have made better, more informed life decisions on a few pivotal occasions.  However, I had a fairly successful career, which gave me a good living and took me all over the world, so who knows? 

One of the professionals pointed out to me that it was probably a stroke of luck that I wasn't diagnosed in my teens because people with ASD were even less well understood in those days and some people had a brutal experiences as teenagers.  I don't think that would have happened - the diagnostic requirements were different / narrower, then.   

Tealight said:

I feel so sad for my younger self and all of the anxiety I have suffered.

Yeah, me too.  But in a sense nothing has changed.  We experienced that, and it wasn't pleasant.  The fact that we now have a formal diagnosis doesn't really change any of that, does it?  It explains it, but in practical terms, changes nothing.   

Like so-o-o-o many others with late diagnosis I can totally relate to the cliche "I've always known I was different".   

So here's my positive thoughts: 

1. You now know, and from this point you can make major life decisions from a more informed base.  You can manage your life with greater confidence, now that you're doing so with some critical self-knowledge.

2. Much more importantly, you know about your daughter, and hopefully she's young enough for the diagnosis to be of more practical assistance to her, which is fantastic.

3.  This relates to Asperger's, a term which has had no clinical significance since 2013 (Asperger's is just Autism) but which is still widely used by lay people, and you may find that some of these issues apply to you (some - by no means all - certainly apply to me):  https://aspergersvic.org.au/page-18136#:~:text=are%20untainted%20by%20the%20judgments,people%20who%20share%20their%20interests

4.  I wouldn't take any of this too literally - it is 'tabloid web-speak' for a subject which is complex, nuanced, and different for everyone -  but I also found some of this (I stress 'some' of it) applied to me:  https://www.aane.org/asperger-profile-strengths/ .  Some of it is also garbage, in my experience ... but the whole point is that each of us has a different experience.  

5.  You are actively looking for the positives, and that, in itself ... is positive.  I'm doing the same.  I think that's the way to go.

Best wishes coming to terms with it.  

Thanks for your support. Sounds like a good plan!

Thank you for your support.

Accept and submit to how things must be. 

There's minimal help - none  for autism. All that counts is how you react inside. You can only understand as god's plan. 

Congratulations. I am in the same boat, and only found out a week ago, aged 39.

The big positive is that you now have a framework through which you can understand your past experiences. For me this has brought loads of mixed emotions but is so useful because now I understand why things happened the way they did. It also is useful knowing that this is not that rare a condition and there are lots of us out there. If this was super rare it would be incredibly lonely. Also, this Community exists and so far has been positive. Looking forward, the diagnosis should help with making plans for how to adjust things in your life to minimise the bad, and maximise the good. So things will change - you are the same person as you have been all your life, but you now have a toolkit to help you change things a bit for the better hopefully, and find a little bit of peace for the history that is you. This is how I am trying to approach things, following the advice of the diagnostic team - I just received their assessment report today.

Why 'congratulations' that is quite odd? I dont understand why you think this so. Nothing has or will change or improve things.

Congratulations on your diagnosis. I was late to realise I had autism too. I think the whole grieving for your younger self and getting angry about the life that could have been had you known is something that a lot of people who were diagnosed as adults go through. I know it's hard not to wonder how things could have been different.