Hello

I had a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism (at 64). I've had a fairly successful career and previously dismissed the possibility ("I can't have autism if I'm doing this job, can I?" - that was ignorance, on my part). 

I'm extremely careful who I tell, but those people who I have told aren't that surprised (which IS suprising to me).  Most members of the extended family don't know, and don't need to.

The main effect of the diagnosis has been my own self-diligence; I've studied autism in depth and have a good handle on the behaviours which I display and which may be down to that.  Having become more objectively self-aware, I can modify those behaviours to some extent, some of the time, where I choose to do so. 

I don't do that because I'm ashamed of those behaviours - I'm not. But because communicating in that way is sometimes less effective, in terms of the achieving the intended outcome, than communicating in a more self-aware way.   And because even if I only manage to do this a little, it has a positive net effect on my relations with people 'in the moment'.  

With hindsight, I recognise that some people (through a 40 year career) did find me a bit intense, and overly direct; occasionally, that probably led to lost business, lost opportunities etc. 

But I'm not remotely apologetic for who or what I am, and anyone who was critical would be told to get on their bike.  I don't really see this as 'masking' but neither do I care much what anyone calls it (in a sense that's just semantics). 

I modify behaviours for the same reason that people have a 'telephone voice'.  You don't behave at a funeral as you would at a party.  We all modify our behaviours, all the time, according to the environment, the situation, the circumstances, the people we're with, and outcomes we're trying to achieve.  With a formal diagnosis, I feel I can modify some of my own behaviours more effectively than I could before.

Examples of the things I often try to do do, consciously (because they aren't intuitive):  I'm less combative and don't correct people on minor issues of fact if they aren't important; I let things go, and try to recognise when 'now is not the time' or when a battle is better won in a different way, or on another occasion; I smile more; I try not to talk too loudly; I try not to be too intense; I lighten up; I'm intuitively compassionate towards people but I try to show it more than I would naturally.  And I try to do all this in small doses, because otherwise it might come across as creepy(!)  

We're all different, and we all have to deal with the nuerotypical world in which we live in our own way.  But for the moment, this is working for me.  A little.  And a little is good(!)

Thanks, I can relate to a lot of what you've said.

Thanks, I can relate to a lot of what you've said.