Autism assessment

Hi All. A few years ago I was seeing a psychiatrist for depression, and one of the mental health nurses who assessed me before seeing the psychiatrist thought some of the things I was saying sounded like autistic traits. I was given two questionnaires to complete to assess the autistic traits; one came back positive and one negative. I found the questionnaires very difficult to complete as I find my thoughts and feelings very confusing and has to understand. As I was mostly seeing him for the depression it was sort of left there as a semi diagnosis of possibly a bit autistic. Fast forward to now, and my current counsellor has helped me to try to explore my thoughts/feelings and why I struggle to understand myself. We both feel that a better diagnosis and more robust understanding of what is going on would help. I also have a 6 month old daughter, and my partner wants to understand how she and my daughter in the future could best understand/support me. 

Can I ask how a formal autistic assessment works? What can I expect, either in terms of waiting on the nhs or cost privately, and at the actual assessment? Do they need to observe me? How definitive can they be if I am not sure myself if my thoughts/feelings? 

Sorry for the long post, and thanks for any advice you may have. 

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