Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
my son is 28 and throughout the whole of his life so far there have been issues that I have not been able to put a finger on what is causing them.He was born 2 weeks early through c section due to complications and was a normal weight at 8lbs. Speech didn’t come easy and he was referred to a speech therapist. At primary school it was mentioned he had dyslexic traits but the SENCO reacher said she thought he had ADHD and insisted I had him tested due to his naughty behaviour! . Test came back as not having ADHD but I went and got him privately tested for dyslexia and that came back as positive although the school wouldn’t recognise it as the SENCO teacher hadn’t referred him. I changed his school. He found it hard to make friends but he did have a friend, my son was slightly over weight and I think got teased for that. Senior school wasn’t great, small amount of support although they felt he could take his exams even though his reading age was 12 years, yes of course he failed most of them. My son went to college to train as a chef, he worked in between and had numerous jobs , most jobs he left under a cloud, like punching a fridge as he was unable to verbalise his issues. By this time at 19 he was very under weight and I was concerned he was heading down the anorexic pathway. My son had a number of friends , not a lot but he seemed ok. We have had outbursts over the years of him saying the whole family treat him like s… and no one cares, this is very untrue but we have just gone with it and jollied him along. There’s been buying excessive amounts of collectibles to sell on , his room was overflowing with items as well as the mess and the dirt where he wasn’t clearing up.Fast forward 9 years and I’m really concerned now for his well being. As I have already said there were signs things were not right but during the lock down it’s escalated. He was buying takeaways and eating excessively, getting taxis to work even though it’s not too far and he could have walked or bused, then there was continually in and out the toilet, excessively , sometimes only for a couple of seconds. Pieces of toilet paper placed down the toilet, chain flushed numerous times. Pacing up and down, clicking things ie pens.Then the crunch, he’s started seeing someone a lot younger,18 years old. The phone calls all through the night, waking myself and my husband up, the limited eating(losing 2 stone in a month)she’s now decided to just stop talking to him and he can not deal with the emotion, it’s only been a couple of months but he’s beside himself. He’s obsessively looking at his phone to the extent he asked his sister to look after it. He’s cried , told me he will never meet anyone, no one likes him, he wants to leave his job, he’s now hardly eating.
I just needed to write this all down and maybe ask the question? Does it sound like he could be autistic? I haven’t listed everything but you can get the gist.I’m not sure if it’s mental health or autism.I’m just feeling desperate as a mum.
it makes me sad as well and the system as it is makes me despair.
I am glad you are there for him, as you clearly care.
There’s no certainty of saying he is, but it sounds possible especially with autistic relatives. A lot of autistic people are known to be dyslexic and just as many have ADHD as well as their autism, there’s a lot of overlapping signs between autism and ADHD.
yes he needs to get a diagnosis
Yes there are autistic relatives, an aunt on my mums side , two cousins of mine on my dads side.The ADHD test was carried out about 22 years ago and ADHD was in its infancy so not as much knowledge and fully diagnosis was available . He struggles in social settings to the extent of declining to come to them now.
i feel terribly sad and lost for him
i certainly cant tell,,,, surely he would have been diagnosed when he did he ADHD test ? dont know. Does he have blood relatives who are autisic ?