Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I've been chatting to some ladies on here who are struggling in their relationships with partners who have Aspergers or high function Autism and I've noticed there seems to be a need for support. I am in the same situation and my partner and I have a little boy aged 5, who is also on the spectrum. Life has been very tough for a few years, but my partner and I have just started counselling.
I am hoping some others will hop on board so we can all share info and experience and support each other.
I haven't intended it to be exclusively for ladies by the way.
Love Rosemary xx
Hi again!
Yes i think it is denial too, if i am honest i was a bit like that also in the beginning. Not helped by the fact my sons speech therapist also said "no signs of a disorder" initially, she then back tracked in November last and said he was showing signs and probably Aspergers due to early years history, blah blah, etc. So i have only really accepted and come to terms with it over the last five months. Before that i hoped everyone was wrong but for my sons sake not incase it would look bad on me.
I now accept and deal with it , although it is easier some days than others
I have really sensitive hearing, the hum of the fridge at night bothers me. Two nights ago i was laying in bed acould hear a quiet ticking sound and finally tracked it down to a my sons wristwatch in another room, i could not sleep with the sound! No sensitivities to smell though.?! I have through the years become a bit of a recluse, lost confidence etc, but in my youth a long long time ago, just after the dinosaurs!!! I was outgoing and confident, just life has changed me , dont think it is Aspergers, living with one for all these years didn't help!
You know what it's like young love, want to be with them all the time ,you stop calling your friends back, only have time for your new love and before you know it twenty years down the line all the friends have long gone, (no wonder) and you discover you dont get on with hubbie as well as you used to, discovwer he has Aspergers and you are now left to deal with it all on your own (wishing you had kept in touch with friends now)!
I like the "Autism is an over emphasis of the NT world" explanation , that does make sense i agree.
"happy birthday" for yesterday, very pleased your husband seems to be trying, it is a learning experiance for all of us.
My husband accepts his Aspergers traits, we joke about it sometimes, i just laugh about soemthing he does eg.( twiddles his thumbs when thinking), and whisper "Aspie", in his ear, he can see then what he is doing and accepts it and laughs aswell, he has no problem with having Aspergers, although as he has admitted he is now 48 has a job, wife and home most of his hurdles he has already crossed, so it is much easier for him. He still sometimes thinks too much is made of it with regards our son. I do not think it is denial, he just wants everyone to stop hasseling our son about it (mainly school) and let him be and do what makes him happy, who cares about the rest of the world?! I think it is protection mode more than denial.
All fine here, apart from the cold weather. My son is just starting his usual " i do not want to go to martial arts class" rant. We may just let him quit for a few weeks as so stressful dragging him along every week, even though he is really happy at the end of it. The hassle getting him out to it can be quite stressful.
I am about to sit down with a cup of tea and my thinking hat and start planning a easter egg hunt map for my son in our garden for Sunday, he loves it!! I will have a snow shovel ready!
Take care
Puffin x x