Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there,
My name's Gary and, at 49 years of age, I've been diagnosed with autism quite late in life.
What started the ball rolling with regards to eventually getting this diagnosis was that I was seeing a psychologist for counselling following my beloved foster mum's murder and it was my mentions of feeling strangely disconnected compared to how the rest of my family were that particularly interested her.
At first my psychologist was looking at PTSD and dissociation disorder, but then when I happened to mention that I went to a special educational needs school when I was young she became quite curious as to what diagnosis I'd been given way back then.
'Oh I wasn't given a diagnosis' I replied, adding: 'I was just told by everyone that I was slow - though that's never sat well with me, but hey, this was the 1970s. I have wondered whether there was something like an autistic spectrum disorder or ADD going on back then, though - something that would be recognised now, but "didn't exist" back then'.
...Anyway, that started the ball rolling with various assessments last summer and has led up to my eventual diagnosis this July.
I decided to have a look at this forum because I was curious to see if anyone has had a similar experience to me with regards to being diagnosed with an ASD relatively late in life.
i found out now and i am 21. far far to late in my opinion . i have been through a lot of trauma as a result of the missed diagnosis.
it does sound like autism if you ask me, as i have experienced a similar thing following the death of my grandmother.
dissasociatoin. well that can be either due to autistic masking, where the autistic person has created a not autistic persona to be able to function around nuerotypicals (not autistic) or could be due to the sort of distance autistic people experience vs not autistic people, for me can feel like we exist in different dimensions.
also i can't help noticing you wrote a long post (like most autistics) if you ask me that points to autism.
Hi NAS72895,
Regarding my mum's death, it's more just an empty well when it comes to sorrow. I mean I felt things like rage against her murderer (who's currently serving a 32 year sentence I'm pleased to report) and guilt with regard to things like asking myself "could I have done something to stop this?"... but an absence of any actual sorrow. Like I'm not wired to feel grief in the same way as other people.
As for my lengthy posts - ha! That's just me fighting the good fight against the tyranny of brevity!
(You should have seen my old blog... I used to regularly write 2000+ word posts!)
Death is a complicated thing for anyone to process - especially sudden or traumatic loss - it's impossible to prepare for - or get used to in the case of long-term decline.
Have you spoken to a counsellor? It can be incredibly useful to talk it over with someone else - .it allows you to vent the thoughts to someone without judgement - and that venting can help you rearrange all the jumbled thoughts in your head.
I'm going through some stuff right now and speaking to someone has really helped me purge the dark thoughts and focus on the things I need to prioritise.
Good - I'm glad they were able to help in some small way.
Yes, I've spoken with a counsellor and it's really helped. I mean, there's never going to be any "closure", but being able to vent to someone has definitely helped.