I want to be alone but hate being alone at the same time

Today I was all ready to go out, it was planned, I'd got ready, lots of details accounted for. Then I found out I had to find somewhere new and go in alone, I over thought it. The birthday girl had implied earlier that week that it was fine if I couldn't make it, I over thought that. I sat in my new outfit hating the ankle gap between my shoes and my jeans, I got changed, the gap was still there. I was cold, I'm always always cold and I hate being out and being cold so I changed my jacket  the ankle gap was more annoying so I took off the boots and my jacket and sat down.the day ran just little the Little Miss Shy book....except nobody came to collect me. I've masked the problem, nobody will question my plausable absence from today and so my life continues.