Newly diagnosed in my 30s

Hi

I finally got my diagnosis, two years after asking my GP - quite a short wait I know, I was lucky that I am in the catchment area for the Maudsley! But I found out after I told family that they "always thought there was something wrong" and I feel like my parents didnt do enough, didnt protect me enough, i'm angry! My sister and brother don't seem to care, we aren't a close family..

When I read my report (which obviously involved a long talk with my informant, which was my mum) I cried and cried. I was gutted to read about this lonely five year old, who wanted to join in but didn't know how, who wanted friends, but couldn't make them. Im still feeling very alone and upset by reading these things. I feel invisible really. I've felt like that for a long time. I have no friends really (am in my 30s) and would like some..

I have never had much of a career, left one recently because the stress of it was enough. I whistleblow when I see the need so employers don't like that. I just feel lost, chaotic and alone even though I have a supportive partner.

Does anyone know of any groups where people can meet up in the London area? 

Thank you for any advice, even any replies. 

Parents
  • Well, congratulations on joining our exclusive club! I've been having the same internal monologue since my diagnosis. Why didn't they...? Why wasn't I...? How could they not have....? I've cried, got angry, stamped my feet and cursed the world.

    But that all stopped during the first meeting with with my autism support worker. She said, "Imagine all of those people who never got a diagnosis, all of them went to their graves never knowing why they felt different, why they didn't fit in. "

    And it's true. I've been very lucky to have been born when I was born. It diagnosis may have come late in life, but at least it came. How I choose to spend the rest of my life is up to me. I can spend it looking back in resentment, or I can face forwards and make the most of the opportunity I've been given.

    Life is not down to fate, but the choices that we make.

  • Thank you for replying, I appreciate you taking the time to do so. And like the other replies u are right. I am waiting for NHS psychology and know I'm lucky to even be on a waiting list for it, it's just that in the meantime i have a lot of anger and talking about it with others like here helps me have empathy for my parents and their own struggles... 

    Wow, what your autism support worker said was very poignant. I'm going to remember that for a long time. I love history especially social and a quote like that makes you think about the lives people must have led in the past - short, brutal and misunderstood.

    Thanks again Blush

Reply
  • Thank you for replying, I appreciate you taking the time to do so. And like the other replies u are right. I am waiting for NHS psychology and know I'm lucky to even be on a waiting list for it, it's just that in the meantime i have a lot of anger and talking about it with others like here helps me have empathy for my parents and their own struggles... 

    Wow, what your autism support worker said was very poignant. I'm going to remember that for a long time. I love history especially social and a quote like that makes you think about the lives people must have led in the past - short, brutal and misunderstood.

    Thanks again Blush

Children