Hello - Autism Non-Diagnosis

Hi,

Last August I started seeing a councillor and after about 30 minutes she asked me if I'd ever considered that I may be Autistic. I'm 34 and I've been to CBT and seen quite a few councillors over the years and none of them had ever asked this. I've never had any diagnosis of anything related to my mental health, but I've been on antidepressants in the past and have definitely suffered with depression all my adult life. Although I've spoken to lots of different people, I've never felt any of the sessions really helped me understand me.

I didn't know anything about Autism when it was suggested to me last year. So I researched a lot and for once I could actually relate to the experiences of people I was reading about and watching on YouTube. I've seen people talk about self-diagnosis being important because of how hard it can be to get seen for a diagnosis. I always found this kind of uncomfortable and I thought the only way I could feel comfortable saying I'm Autistic was to get an official diagnosis. Because the NHS waiting list was so long I was very lucky that my parents said they would pay for a private psychiatrist for me to be assessed. 

I went to that assessment this week. The psychiatrist has told me that, although I do show lots of traits, he does not think I'm autistic, but he does think I may have Emotional Dysregulation Disorder also known as Borderline Personality Disorder, he didn't actually diagnose me with this either though. He also told me I'm welcome to disagree with him and come and speak to him again or seek a second opinion. I've heard of EDD/BPD before, but I don't know that much about it. I've not looked into it yet because I've been so overwhelmed and confused by the non-diagnosis. 

So I find myself in a position where someone who's qualified to diagnose me has said I'm not autistic after speaking with me for just over two hours. But my councillor who's spoken to me nearly every week for at least an hour since August disagrees with him, but in her own words, "I'm not qualified to diagnose you, so who am I to disagree?". She also says she doesn't think I've ever displayed EDD/BPD characteristics in our sessions. I'm more confused now than I was before the assessment and part of me wishes I never went.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this. I just kinda feel lost again. It feels wrong for me to disagree with someone who's an expert, but it also feels like what he's saying is wrong. 

Is there anyone else with a similar experience? Should I just accept what he's said and move on? Should I get a second opinion or talk to him again?

Any help is greatly appreciated and thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to respond. :) 

Thom