Published on 12, July, 2020
Good afternoon everyone. I am sorry to bother you all. My wife and I feel like we have been through the wringer this week. Our 4 year old wee boy has been to an initial appointment and although his diagnosis has still be done officially at the next stage, it seems he has autism. He can talk but it is very limited for his age, maybe 2 or 3 word sentences mostly punctuated by a very occasional 5 or 6 word sentence every couple of days or so. He does use individual words very often but nowhere near what would be expected for his age.
Probably the most obvious thing he does is ignore attempts, both verbal and body language wise to gain his attention. I can shout his name 15 times close by and he simply doesn't respond. Deep down, I have really worried about this for a while and we instigated getting things checked based on our observations.
On the plus side, he is quite good in different environments, soft play, nursery, Gran and Grandads, friends etc. Leaving places he is not great sometimes if he wants to stay but in the grand scheme of things it could be much worse. My biggest fear is for his future and I know that this simply has to play out. I am praying that his speaking improves and I am terrified that his wee brothers of 6 months and 3 years may be affected as well. My 3 year old does speak a lot better and I think having only recently encountered this situation I am maybe over analysing things as it is so raw at the moment.
What is other peoples experience? Is it commonplace for this to run in families. I am really sorry if this seems a bit self pitying as that is not my nature and I know in time I will get my head round this and immerse myself in as much knowledge as I can which will help my young lad as well as me as I will feel better knowing I am trying my very best for him.
I live in Scotland and wondered if there are any obvious things I should be doing at present.
Thank you.
Ryan
Hi Ryan
We tend to thrive in quiet, calm, predictable, routine environments where there's lots of comfortable stimulation - lots of toys cars to line up, trains to arrange etc. I've found that being near them and quietly playing with the toys yourself and lining them up or sorting them by colour gives them something to notice - and they will often mimic and extrapolate.
I remember being very young and my mum trying to teach my twin brother to speak - I wasn't interested. I could hear her talking to my brother so I was behind the sofa listening. I could do it - I just saw no need.
What does your son like to do? Does he interact with you in parallel play?
Hi, thank you for your reply. It's really kind of you to send a message.
The biggest concern when I started to worry was his speech but I was little guilty of not wanting to confront the reality. At 2, it was a case of, 'ill wait till 2.5', at 2.5, 'ill wait till 3' and so on. He needed gromits as his hearing was not great and at the time, I attributed the delay to the hearing loss.
His hearing was retested post operation and was fine but now when I call for him, I can literally be right necxt to him, right next to his ear and he does not react. If I shout, do you want a biscuit or ice cream, he arrives like a shot next to the fridge or cupboard.
He doesn't seem to have a huge problem in noise or quiet. I can take him to the soft play with lots of bodies and he is right in there playing amidst every one. I can take him to different environments and he is ok.
He does interact if he is interested. I have seen him lining up cars once or twice but again not as much as a novice like me would think about being on the autistic spectrum but it's obviously a spectrum for a reason as you know.
His speech and perhaps his passion for numbers are the two most obvious reasons I thought about Autism for. sorry this probably isn't that clear a description as I am still reeling a bit and doing this on the sly at work ha ha!!
Thanks again. Ryan