Still unsure about my Autism, realised the possibility last week and so i'm here to find out more, positive and negative, to understand myself better.

Hi there,

Firstly you are not alone! There are so many people who go through life undiagnosed (officially) and then look back and think that they are different to others and realise they could be autistic. Autism has many different variations from people who are non-verbal to others to hide it quite well but struggle behind closed doors. My daughter is going through the formal process of being diagnosed at present. I'm autistic and my husband is but we have not been diagnosed. The reason for this is we are in our 30's and don't see how an official diagnosis would benefit us in any way. We both have jobs and can 'act' and 'blend in' most of the time. However, when we realised that we were also autistic it was like a revelation for us. We started examining everything we went through in school and how we react to people now and honestly it was comforting to know that we are just 'wired that way' and it is beyond our control. It was a comfort to know there was a reason we feel like outsiders sometimes. Both my husband and I struggle around other people for too long, we call it 'social hangovers' and we like our own space a lot, so we both respect that. My husband struggles with anxiety in work and lack of sleep as his busy mind keeps him awake a lot. He also has daily issues with other people when they don't conform to the rules -  he can't accept other people going against them and it makes him rather furious. I sometimes struggle with conversations with other people and copy how other people talk quite a lot. I also worry in advance about going anywhere new or meeting people. These are just some of the things we struggle with daily. The process of assessment starts with your GP. I approached my GP about my daughter and then he referred her onto the appropriate assessment centre in the area. Clinicians and psychologists got involved through some lengthy interviews (all through zoom as it was during lockdown). The questions are repetitive and require quite a lot of detail. As they need so much information before the 'assessment in person' to ascertain if it leans towards autism or something else.

My advice to you would be to do some online courses on autism. They only take a few weeks of your time, can be done whenever you like and they are free. This means you can learn a bit more about it all and decide for yourself if you are identifying with the characteristics of autism. It will help you understand yourself better and you can talk to other people (online) about your experiences and seek advice. The courses I have done are 'Supporting and engaging people with autism' and 'Understanding autism' by Futurelearn. They are fantastic and I would highly recommend them.

I hope this helps, so you don't feel so alone. Have you got someone close to you that you can talk to about this? It really helps to let the people that are closest to you know what you are going through as they can support you and when you find out more about it you can teach them a bit about it too - which in turn helps them understand you better.

Take care ;)

I agree with pretty much all of the above and have done the courses with Futurelearn which I found very useful, just wish they did more especially Kent University, it would be great if they had some way of working with them to fully yourself.

I agree with pretty much all of the above and have done the courses with Futurelearn which I found very useful, just wish they did more especially Kent University, it would be great if they had some way of working with them to fully yourself.