Published on 12, July, 2020
Feeling really alone right now and just would like to connect with some people who are going through the same thing. My 21 has suspected autism, I’m pretty certain that’s what it is but health visitor wants to come back and see him when he’s started at nursery to see if he’s just delayed from being isolated so much this past year.
Things I’ve noticed -
- He’s non verbal (but does make some sounds now and then - ba, t, s, da, r)
- doesn’t understand much (I.e - simple instructions)
- doesn’t respond to his name
- has a hard time playing (throws things around and no imaginative play - only likes his stacking cups and play garage to put items down)
- he’s having temper tantrums a lot (I know this is common in many children but these seem different to me)
- he’s never clapped or waved
- he shudders and flaps a lot when he’s excited about something
On the other hand, he’s affectionate with me, looks me in the eye, kisses me when I ask him to, sleeps really well and eats fairly well.
It’s led to me feeling pretty hopeless and depressed about it all because I’ve no idea what to do to help him or if I even can. I just want whats best for him. Just feeling dread everyday about being around him because I watch him and compare him to other kids and this just makes me spiral more with anxiety about what’s going to happen with him. Really struggling to cope at the minute. Added pressure from my 1 month old needing me too. Feeling at a crossroads and just want someone to tell me things are going to get better :(
That's a little young to really test properly isn't it? Comparing to other kids, especially in a lockdown year probably isn't the best position either. Girls can be quicker to pick up language skills than boys as well.
If not already, then hearing is important to get checked.(I had hearing issues as a young child plus undiagnosed autism - yay -_-) I wasn't terribly verbal - but it was complicated - hearing; delayed speech development; just lack of interest in socialising and so didn't have stuff to say...
I'm not sure I'm following all of this, but my son is much much older now.
Remember, some tiny humans have hyperlexia - the ability to engage with symbols (like the script of language) in an almost savant like quality. Some suggest girls mature a little faster than boys.
From everything I've been reading, Autism can sometimes take a good deal of time to recognise due to it being in relationship to society & we're all in lockdown right now. Children in general cannot handle overload. I've read LEDs can permanently damage their retinas, Loud noises can damage their ears, they are fragile with or without any added diagnostic. Allow your children to grow at their own pace. You seem like you have your hands full!! Enjoy them for who they are & these young years are so precious but fleeting! :)
I’m trying to remember my daughter (just turned 4 and NT as far as we know so far!) at that age, I think those things can be pretty normal under 3, that’s why they often wait until later to assess. as hard as it is try not to compare him, kids all develop differently, my daughter has a friend who is two weeks older than her and can already read and write very well. DD can only read and write her name but she’s very good at drawing and very clever in the way she thinks about things (makes sense in my head but hard to explain!). She still flaps when she’s excited and her imaginative play has only really become truly imaginative over the past year. To start with she’d just have a toy person in each hand and say “hello how are you?” between them and not much else! With the communication issues have you tried baby signing at all? It may help with the tantrums if they are due to lack of you understanding each other. You can get classes for children from birth to around 3 years old. I’ve noticed at the end you have a 1 month old, have you had your 6 week check yet? Have you talked to your health visitor about your anxiety? I was all over the place for the first month between the hormones, lack of sleep and pain from trying to breastfeed a baby with severe tongue tie!
Child development is well above my knowledge. I would feel it is important to have him properly assessed.
I had mentioned to another individual on here recently that my son started having severe reactions to chocolate around 2-3 years of age. That reaction appeared in the form of a 'tantrum' and I felt horrible that I assigned that word to him when I was essentially poisoning him! I quickly learned the caffeine & chemical components from chocolate were really bad for children. He really only expressed shock or a sort of melt down from very shocking and overloading things when he was young.
Most children shudder and flap or move about when they're excited, this seems normal. And my nephew didn't start talking until he was about three, then suddenly he wasn't just speaking, he was using quite intelligent language.
My son also had sinus issues, though, which affected his hearing and nose passageways. Again, here I had to look at what I was feeding him and adjust his diet. I also bought Grapefruit Seed ear drops, as he always had ear infections and they helped incredibly.
I can only really give you information from my own experience. I tried not to overwhelm him. I'd always perform a motion and see if he would mimic, like putting all the toys in to a basket. Children need a very intense involvement. They all grow different. Only you know your child though, I would simply make sure he's healthy and seemingly content, monitor my own behaviours toward him and his diet / biology as health cannot be replaced. :)