Suspected Autism in my 21 month old. Support needed

Feeling really alone right now and just would like to connect with some people who are going through the same thing. My 21 has suspected autism, I’m pretty certain that’s what it is but health visitor wants to come back and see him when he’s started at nursery to see if he’s just delayed from being isolated so much this past year.

Things I’ve noticed -

- He’s non verbal (but does make some sounds now and then - ba, t, s, da, r)

- doesn’t understand much (I.e - simple instructions)

- doesn’t respond to his name

- has a hard time playing (throws things around and no imaginative play - only likes his stacking cups and play garage to put items down)

- he’s having temper tantrums a lot (I know this is common in many children but these seem different to me)  

- he’s never clapped or waved

- he shudders and flaps a lot when he’s excited about something


On the other hand, he’s affectionate with me, looks me in the eye, kisses me when I ask him to, sleeps really well and eats fairly well.

It’s led to me feeling pretty hopeless and depressed about it all because I’ve no idea what to do to help him or if I even can. I just want whats best for him. Just feeling dread everyday about being around him because I watch him and compare him to other kids and this just makes me spiral more with anxiety about what’s going to happen with him. Really struggling to cope at the minute. Added pressure from my 1 month old needing me too. Feeling at a crossroads and just want someone to tell me things are going to get better :(