Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I’ve been wondering for the past 4 years about the possibility that I might be autistic and I’d like to seek professional support.My parents are not very keen on me seeing therapists, I think because they are worried about what it says about them as parents. I want to stress that my parents have always been very good and have made me feel safe at home growing up, and it’s really the outside world that wasn’t. But I’ve tried to talk to them a few times about autism (it runs in the family by the way) and they’ve initially dismissed me, but then started acknowledging that I wasn’t a « typical » child without really wanting to go into details. As an adult I know I don’t need their permission/support, and I have lots of memories from my childhood that support why I relate to the experiences of autistic people and to many of the diagnostic criteria. But I know that since autism is a neurodevelopmental condition, my parents might have very good insight into what I was like as a child that would be valuable to bring with me if I want to get assessed, and could even be needed by professionals. So I was wondering what the community has to say about specific questions that I could ask them to narrow the conversation down for them? And have you experienced the same with your families? Mine are abroad so it would be difficult to involve them in sessions as they could not come with me/be on the phone etc, and they would not be comfortable with that. Also there is a language barrier, and understanding of autism is not as open where I come from, so speaking to professionals there would not be the best option either.
Hope someone can give me some pointers, obviously if they don’t want to help then I guess they don’t have to.
my parents couldnt be there, one was dead so he cant say anything, and other had just came out from heart surgery ( my mum ). Anyways they said to me at the assessment they didnt need my mums input as I was clearly autistic ........ just as well , because she is autistic and cant see anything wrong with me at all, ever !
My mum is the best mum ever
Parents are normally resistant and will normalise any of your childhood behaviours - so might mess up your diagnosis. They are proud of you and your achievements and don't want to acknowledge that they 'failed'. It's wider than that too - if they mention it to anyone, people can use it against them - especially in the wider family - there's always jealousies that any nasty relative can jab at them - and there's always someone in the woodwork.
If I was you. I'd do it alone - you're old enough to tell them what you know about your childhood - I'm a bloke so mine was all about lining up toy cars and train-sets and sitting behind the sofa on my own while my mum taught my twin brother to speak - I was very independent even back then.
It's not that important anyway - anyone who knows their stuff can spot us from a mile away and after a brief chat will know you're on the spectrum - the rest of the questions are to work out where you are on the spectrum.