Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
My boyfriend has a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. Life has dealt him some bad hands and he carries a lot of trauma and hurt from this. He has suffered from anxiety and depression for over 10 years. He recently left university (a little later than he would have liked) and went into the world of work. After a hard time trying to get a job, a friend of a friend landed him a brilliant opportunity. He began working for a company and it all seemed to be going well. His confidence started to grow again and he began to see hope again where he hadn't for a while. But then lockdown happened and he struggled to work remotely. He reached out again and again for support from the company only to be encouraged to stop the job. There was no redundancy or firing, he was on probation so they simply ended this. This left him terribly depressed and anxious.
Since then (9 months ago), he has been looking for another job but part of him has given up. He has employment support but he lacks the energy and motivation to keep going and he finds the job application/interview process very painful. He is an intelligent man and wants to find a job which will challenge him intellectually but this seems impossible at the moment. Over the last 10 years, he has exhausted all sorts of medical help/intervention including therapy, CBT, medication. His parents have spent thousands of pounds on therapies etc but nothing ever seems to work.
We have reached a point where he has lost hope for everything - finding a job, getting medical help and having a future. I really worry about what the future holds for him and how I can support him to keep going.
If anyone has any advice for how I can support him please do share, I would love to hear your experiences.
Thank you.
Hello
I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend's experiences and feelings, and that you're feeling worried. Could you encourage him perhaps to go back to his GP for different medication for anxiety and depression, or a different dose or something?
I have two degrees, speak four foreign languages and am currently working as a cleaner, in a probationary period, which I don't expect to lead to a permanent position. I've had umpteen jobs and have decided that my fulfilment is to be found elsewhere than paid work. I've even been "sacked" from voluntary positions, asked not to return because my face doesn't fit.
I'm currently enjoying writing blogs and stories, doing art and starting to explore some kind of role in church. I don't think I have the people skills to be an ordained minister but there might be something that I can do. I've certainly found absorbing and creative hobbies to be helpful for my mental health, as well as medication, CBT etc.
I'm still somewhere in the process of obtaining an ASC / ADHD / something diagnosis and gradually learning to accept myself as I am. My mum thinks that I "should" have a "better" job with all of my qualifications and doesn't accept the possibility that I might be autistic. However my husband, who has a diagnosis of Aspergers, is supportive of whatever I do employment-wise, volunteering-wise and hobby-wise, which is a refreshing change. That's not to say that I won't ever be a professional translator, which I am appropriately trained to be, just that I can be happy whether I am or not, with acceptance from other people and looking after my mental health.
I'm a newbie to this community but hoping for acceptance and support here too.